From where I sit I see my glass of Malbec…half empty. It’s my second glass. I usually have only one, if that, but tonight feels like it warrants two. It’s been one of those weeks. I’m tired and grumpy and I’ve run out of steam. It’s a half-empty moment.
Today my brain feels saturated with to-do lists that won’t quit, schedules that won’t stretch, and way too many demands. At school it’s write this, plan this, schedule this, organize this, and don’t forget to assess both this and that followed by scoring, entering, and more planning. My desk, which has been pretty tidy for about 2 months, is in crisis mode. Sad to say, my house is not much better. So at home, the demands continue. Don’t forget to call her back, pay that, schedule this, empty that, clean that, unload, fold and organize it all. Oh, and don’t forget the FAFSA update! There’s no respite. My profile picture should be Edvard Munch’s Scream. Ahhhh!
From where I sit, I see way too many rebukes. Piles of unopened mail, mounds of unmatched socks, debris, and clutter. Bags of schoolwork filled with papers, dutifully toted home, but untouched. Even my unpetted cat who lies, curled and resigned, next to me. I can’t keep up and I just want to run away and grab a book and sink into my amazing, wonderful bed, burrow under my mound of feathered blankets and wave the white flag of surrender. I give up! I can’t do it all. But for right now, I take another sip of Malbec, sigh, and open my up my e-mail account. What do you do when you keep pulling yourself up by the bootstraps and your bootstraps are threatening to break?
Nix the comfort zone 
Take off the bootstraps! lol! I do feel your pain. I know, but most people don’t, just how hard it is to live the teacherly life, to teach, to expend the energy on others, and then if that’s not enough, to have to open emails and worse yet…respond! Time for a break, right?! Ours is in 17 days…but who’s counting?!
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Wow! You’ve really articulated the way so many of us (teachers) feel. I’m afraid this is the nature of education these days. I had the week you described, last week. So be encouraged…this too will pass.
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I’m sorry you are having such a tough week. I liked how you wrote about your profile picture should Edvard Munch’s Scream. I also liked the way you called objects rebukes.
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Step 1: Don’t open your work email!! Step 2: delegate Step 3: applaud yourself for everything you do accomplish Step 4: eat a bag or two of popcorn and Step 5: go to bed early and start over tomorrow!!
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Drink the wine, hug the cat, grab two books, get under covers, cry a little, go to sleep. Know you are loved.
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Thanks, Sue. Note to self: work on developing blogging filter. I was just throwing a bit of a pity party last night, which would have been relatively harmless except that in the pressure of the moment, I wrote and posted about it. Feeling a bit red in the face this morning. Oh well…live and learn.
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No feeling red! Just happened to open to your page this morning. Writing what’s real, is never something to feel embarrassed about. Peaks and valleys, that’s the life we live as teachers. It’s called exhaustion this time of year!
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Gael, thanks so much for writing–I decided to focus today on all the positive things that happen and then slice about it later. Your post and encouragement are definitely going to go on that list! I may well frame the line “Writing what’s real is never something to feel embarrassed about.” Thanks!!!!!
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