March SOLC–Day 30
Conference week is hell. I don’t know how I’d forgotten that. We have regular full days of work and tuck conferences in around the school day. It’s essentially miserable. So one night this week after a full day of school and a number of conferences, I was exhausted and delighted to be home. I clicked onto Facebook to check in with my kids (and to try to delay heading to bed til at least 7:30 pm). The first post I saw was from my youngest daughter, currently in her first year in college. She’d posted this poem on her Facebook page:
I read it. Then I read it again. And I know I will read it again and again. I am delighted that this poem resonates with her. I love its message but even more I love that my daughter recognizes and values that message, too.
As a parent to three young adults, I sit on the sidelines as they lead their busy lives. I gather up bits and pieces, clues, from conversations, observations, and Facebook posts and chats. These clues are like puzzle pieces with glimpses of who they were, who they are and who they are becoming. But there’s no guiding picture on the box, no obvious way to assemble them. I gather the pieces and puzzle over them and it’s not always a clear or reassuring process. Sometimes the emerging picture surprises me. Sometimes it warms my heart. And sometimes it keeps me up at night.
While she was home over spring break, I mentioned to my daughter that I’d turned down a full scholarship for a Master’s Degree (eons ago!) because they didn’t have an appropriate program for her father at that school. She said, “Wow! You made that big of a decision because of a boy?” Another puzzle piece.
It’s been hard seeing our youngest leave the nest and spread her wings. There were a few initial bumps, and lots of worries, but more and more, I think she’s going to do just fine. The picture forming is sweet, strong, and centered–Beautiful and so much more. It’s been a heck of a week, and there are still days to go, but my energy just got a boost. Rock on, sweet Rosie! You are extraordinary!
Nix the comfort zone 
Your extraordinary daughter became who she is because of many things, not the least her upbringing. I know that’s cliche, but it’s true. I love the poem she posted and your reflections on family and being a parent of young adults. I truly enjoyed reading this today.
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Thanks!
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Your post really made me think. I like that you liken figuring out your older children to putting puzzle pieces together without a guiding picture. It sounds to me like your children are really extraordinary. But getting to know you through your posts this month I’m not surprised: they have a terrific role model.
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Thanks, Melanie! I’ve so enjoyed following your posts this month as well. What a wonderful challenge this is!
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Molly, I cried through your entire post. I could connect to your thoughts in so many ways. I’ve too have seen a glimpse here and there of my daughter “adulting” and it is profound. Wasn’t she just a toddler yesterday? And while it is profound, you should step back and give yourself credit because you have raised such a wonderful person. Your daughter will what you dreamed of and more! Thanks too for sharing the poem at the beginning of your post; it is beautiful.
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Thanks, Amy. I can so relate to your question: “Wasn’t she just a toddler yesterday?” I miss those little hands and sweet young faces but I’m truly fascinated by their “adulting”.
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Molly, that was beautiful! Like other comments, my eyes are filled with tears- you have so much love for your children and I love how these puzzle pieces form together as we grow. Remember how much of an influence you have had to help shape who they are 🙂
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What a beautiful post. It must be amazing to watch adult children. I’m shocked at how significant my littles’ personalities are, and I can’t even imagine when they get older. It sounds like you’ve done a good job, mama.
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With two young adult children and one close behind,this resonated with me. I like how you look at it as a pieces of a puzzle – past, present, and future pieces. I think I will be looking at things differently in the coming days.
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I loved your post, The poem your daughter shared is so important for all to hear. Then I smiled and laughed, because I turned down a grad assistantship for a masters because I was in love and didn’t want to be that far from my fiance, now husband of 26 1/2 years.
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27 years in May here–We’re apparently leading parallel lives! Thanks for reading and commenting.
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Extraordinary young woman and a terrific mom and dad who pointed her in the right direction. (Paraphrase of Otto Frank about parenting.)
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