March 2020 SOLC–Day 23
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I hopped on the treadmill early this morning, determined to burn off some anxiety and calories early in the day. As I walked, I read on the iPad Kindle app. Well, I sort of read. I’m not sure I could tell you a lot about what was happening in my book. On some level I recognized that it was well-written and interesting. But mostly my brain was craving the mechanical escape of reading without necessarily having to think about what I was reading or to retain it. I guess you could describe my reading effort as mental word calling. Focus hasn’t been my forte lately.
A couple of miles in, I saw a blur of movement outside the window. Easily distracted (Remember?… No focus here!), I turned my head to look outside.
What was that? I wondered, while simultaneously thinking, Whatever you do, don’t fall!
I straightened a bit and tightened my hands on the grips, but continued to scan the scene. Finally, outside the window, near a small patch of snow, I saw a single fat robin hopping about. It cocked its head one way, then the other. It hopped, stopped, hopped. I kept on walking and watching it.
It would be pretty cool if it looked me right in the eye, I thought. I stared at it long and hard. Like a direct message from spring. A message of hope. I stared a bit more.
Yeah, well it didn’t happen. In fact, that robin didn’t seem to notice me at all. It just hopped about, periodically pecking at the ground. But still, it was there, and that was something. The first robin I’d seen this year.
As I watched it, more movement caught my eye, and I suddenly realized that there was another robin in the background. And as I looked closer, I saw another. And another. Once I started looking, I saw them all over the yard and bustling about in the woods. Busy little harbingers of spring–and a reminder that regardless of the forecast for the coming days, and even if it won’t look me in the eye right now, spring is coming.
Nix the comfort zone 
“even if it won’t look me in the eye, spring is coming.” I love your last line and imagining you staring down that robin. We sent them from here. They were all over my mother-in-laws yard in early March. Spring is coming your way.
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Thanks, Margaret. I think a more authentic post today would have been steeped in dread and anxiety, but I’m trying to fake it ’til I make it. I’m clinging to smidgens of positivity wherever I find them. We’re due for a snowfall tonight and it feels like a big step backward.
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Must have seen twenty-five gold finches at our feeder. Ten minutes of frenzy and then they were gone. All is right in my world when the finches, the bluebirds, and the cardinals come to call.
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Red-winged blackbirds and cowbirds appeared at our feeders yesterday. Later, down by the river we saw a bluebird and a tree sparrow (well, some sort of sparrow I hadn’t seen in a while!). The goldfinches have been here all winter, and in force for a while now, but purple (or house) finches have popped up in the last week or so and the goldfinch are also buttering up nicely. We’re lucky enough to host a wide range of birds at our feeders 🙂 I enjoy them all!
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Your last line is really hopeful. I love how this post has an underlying fear – that robin doesn’t look at you & I really really wanted it to! – but an overlay of hope – so many robins, once you start looking. Thanks for noticing the inevitable progress of nature.
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I was thinking a lot of struggling and abiding yesterday. It was a tough one. “Hope is the thing with feathers…”
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I love that spring is not yet ready to look you in the eye! Such a great line that connects to your inner monologue earlier in the piece. You always have such great voice in your posts. Hang in there as winter hangs out around the edges. I’m waiting for that robin photo!
Kim
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Thanks, Kim. I was just thinking I need to get a good robin photograph. They are so lovely but I tend to take them for granted because they’ve always been a part of my life.
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I agree with Kim that you always have a great voice in your posts. I enjoyed your plot-how you reeled us in with your curiosity. It was great how you connected your two lines about looking you in the eye with hope and positive energy in the ending. Thank you for sharing and reminding us that spring is coming.
Yesterday, in upstate NY we received five inches of snow. Watching snowflakes always excites me, but I’m ready for spring. I think the birds are too because I haven’t seen the house finches or cardinals yesterday or today. But, I can always depend on my downy woodpeckers to peck the beef suet.
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