After a medical emergency with my husband late last week, things have calmed down a bit, but the questions remain, as does the elevated stress level. Seeking periodic escape from the latter, I’ve spent some time lost in my computer, reading/answering e-mails, avoiding news, and liberally dosing myself with poetry, nature photography and cat videos. (And look, did you see what I just did there? With the cat videos? That was sort of a joke (even if not totally untrue). Surely that means things are on an upswing!)
At any rate, I wasn’t sure I’d be participating in PF this week. My focus has been shot, and my writing has been erratic. Sadly, I didn’t get a chance to work on a tree poem to participate with Christie’s theme. Then, looking back through my queue of unattended e-mails, I read Jane Yolen’s daily poem from August 11th. It was a response to David L. Harrison’s word prompt for August: “Question.” Between the medical situation and being in my early 50s, I’ve certainly been feeling questions swirling lately and this was my response to that prompt. (WordPress wasn’t happy with my formatting attempts, so I’ve had to go with screen shots.)
After rereading it, I realize this poem might sound a bit…dark…but it’s just what happened when I sat down to write.
This week’s Poetry Friday Roundup is hosted by tree-loving Christie Wyman at her blog, Wondering and Wandering. Make sure to stop by and see what sort of tree-inspired poetry is gathering there.
Nix the comfort zone 
“the free fall will come sooner…” Such fear and worry wrapped up in this swirl of a poem. when we let go and let our words flow, truth comes through. I hope you will get questions answered soon and turn that descent around.
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Thanks, Margaret. I guess uncertainty is a big part of it all–of this experience and of life.
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It IS dark, but it is also beautiful and human and a fabulous example of a shape poem that works! Wishing your husband well, a break from your stress, and more cat videos for all. xo
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Thank you, Irene. The stress level is slowly decreasing. I’m sure it’s due to the cat vids!
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I do hope you don’t think PF can’t take your dark, utterly honest poem about aging! I’m glad to hear that your husband is on the mend and you, too! This is one of your best, Molly–both the shape and the language “that final hiccup of empty space”. I think there’s lesson to be learned here about more emotional truth and less polishing, sometimes.
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Thanks, Heidi. I’m still not sure I’m ready to be that honest about all of it! I really hesitated before sharing this one.
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Molly, life is fragile, uncertain, and intersects our best-laid plans. Dark is a place of reality settling in. Having gone through the death of a close friend, I feel the burden of uncertainty but my yoga teacher talked of being in the present and not burdened by fears of the future when heavily troubled. Acceptance was the word I heard today during yoga. Your thoughts were free-falling ones that spoke from your heart. May your husband be filled with positive wishes.
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Oh, Carol, I’m so sorry that you have lost your friend. Grief is such a seismic change in our lives. In the daily hubbub, it’s easy, and perhaps comforting, to push away thoughts of the fragility of life. This incident has reminded me that moment to moment is what we have. My thoughts are with you.
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Life is so fragile. And yay you for the courage to post a poem about questions. Live each moment.
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I’m actively working on embracing those moments! Thanks, Jone.
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Molly, what a week! I’m glad to hear things are settling down. I find myself thinking quite a bit these days….”I thought I had more time before______________.” All that stuff that comes with getting older sure is cruel and shocking and before we are at all ready. Sending you good thoughts and wishes for some mental & soul recovery. I really like the question shape of this poem. It is honest and true…it speaks to me.
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Time does fly, doesn’t it?
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Molly, I’m glad to hear that things are settling down and that you’ve found a few stress-free moments. Your poem is lovely and true. Somehow we arrive at this age “faster than we ever imagined” and the perspective from here is different. The shape of your words captures that perfectly. Hugs to you.
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First of all, I send you strength, positive thoughts, and enough cat videos to make it through whatever might befall! 🙂 (But glad things are settling down so that you might not need them anytime soon…)
Next, I LOVE your poem — the shape, the flow, the line lengths…all of it. Yes, it’s a bit dark, but that is the truth of life, isn’t it? Along with the light, there is dark.
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Thanks, Mary Lee. I so appreciate all the positive thoughts…and cat videos, too. My beloved two-years-gone cat visited me in my dreams last night. Maybe she was doing her own version of a cat vid. It was oddly comforting.
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Oh Molly, what a lot you’ve been going through! My heart feels the deep uncertainty in your poem so vividly. I also went back and read your beautiful (and powerful) slice post a few days ago about feeling vulnerable. It’s scary to think that how one incident, one little moment in the grand scheme of things, can change life so profoundly. I’m glad to know both poetry and cat videos are helping out where they can! Wishing you continued strength, stamina, and answers.
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Thanks so much for the support and good wishes, Michelle. Although we still have a lot of questions, things have mostly settled down. We burnt through a lot of reserves (especially my poor husband), so even small things or setbacks can seem monumental. We’re a bit fragile, but taking it day by day…thankful for what we have. 🙂
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Is the darkness lifting today? Or do you need to sit with it a while longer?
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An interesting question–I’m going to contemplate that a bit more.
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So good, Molly – thanks for writing and sharing this. I’m sorry about the medical emergency and sending prayers. Ruth, thereisnosuchthingasagodforsakentown.blogspot.com
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Thank you so much, Ruth.
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Bleak yet strong poem Molly. As I’m some what older than you and still have many many things to accomplish, I’m focusing on the present. Hope your husband is doing better, and you too.
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My husband is doing better, and I’m finding my equilibrium again. We’re both working hard to focus on the moment. Thanks!
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