March 2024 SOLC–Day 27
A huge thank you to Two Writing Teachers for all that they do to create an amazing community of writers and a safe, welcoming space to write, learn, share and grow.
http://www.twowritingteachers.org

I haven’t shaken yesterday’s grumpiness, and I had a hard time rolling out of bed yet again this morning. Yesterday’s relatively disastrous math class is still resounding in my head, along with a lot of degrading self talk and the litany of Things-to-do that pollutes March each year. Then there are a few extras thrown in this year to add to the mess and stress. Oh, and don’t forget to add in a thick layer of self disgust for whining in the first place, when really I am so, so fortunate is so, so many ways. Ugh. I really hate feeling ugly inside.

Even though writing slices has been tough lately, I still keep writing in my notebook. I guess it’s a sort of sloppy creative journal. Whatever it is, no matter how I’m feeling, writing in it is a deeply ingrained morning habit.

Here’s what I just wrote this morning: “There are only 5 more slicing days left and I should be able to pull that off. Just 5 more slices to write — but these feel more like “cross it out” rather than “craft and enjoy.” I’ve found myself thinking lately that I might not do this next year. Maybe my 10th year is my swan song. But then I would probably still have an overwhelming, stressful March, but not have a collection of writing or the sense of community… “

Not long afterward, I stopped writing and got on-line to check my e-mails. There were a bunch of comments on my grumpy slice from last night from regular readers and others. Each one was so supportive and so empathetic.

“I get it.”

“I’m in the exact same place.”

“You’re allowed.” or

“I’m just. so. tired. of everything, really. It’s not that I can’t see the good things, I’m just grumpy.”

I felt seen, heard, supported and surrounded by community. A little bit of my toxic funk evaporated as I read each one.

These comments are such a tangible affirmation of why I do participate in this challenge. Sure, I want to work on writing and challenge myself to improve my writing craft. But really, the challenge is the golden ticket, giving me entry into this amazing community of supportive people who are in it together, doing the best we can.

So, here’s to all of you, with my deepest thanks for the ongoing support and encouragement! In particular, today, I thank Margaret, Lainie, Jessica, Stephanie, Kim, and Amanda.

You’re the best!

March 2024 SOLC–Day 25
A huge thank you to Two Writing Teachers for all that they do to create an amazing community of writers and a safe, welcoming space to write, learn, share and grow.
http://www.twowritingteachers.org

We went to bed Saturday night with the power out and rain and ice lashing the windows. We woke to a world transformed. The power still hadn’t returned, but now every surface had been thickly coated with a thick glaze of ice. It was treacherous and it didn’t bode well for an imminent return of power, but it was also absolutely stunning.

The pictures really don’t capture the glitter and glow of it all. It was sparkle on steroids, everything frosted and frozen, like some sort of magical fairyland. Today, my 30 year old son mentioned that he’d commented to his wife, “It looks just like Narnia!” And it did!

March 2024 SOLC–Day 24
A huge thank you to Two Writing Teachers for all that they do to create an amazing community of writers and a safe, welcoming space to write, learn, share and grow.
http://www.twowritingteachers.org

It was pretty clear by Friday afternoon that Saturday would not be a good day for travel. I summarily decided that I would be going nowhere and doing nothing. It was going to be an at home snow day and I was leaning into it. The last two weekends had been packed and I was stick-a-fork-in-me done! 

So, Friday night we picked up ingredients for soup and a few other essentials. We made sure the wood was stacked high by the wood stoves. I went to sleep knowing I had no plans for the next day, feeling oddly and deliciously liberated by having some choices and “should do’s” curtailed by the impending storm. 

I woke up, eager to check out the snowfall (maybe 2 inches so far), made coffee and fed the cats. Then I wrote, read and commented. Played some word games. Next, I made pumpkin pancakes and topped them with ginger jam. Yum! I washed the sheets and made the bed. I watched the snow fall. I let each moment unfold into the next, letting my mood and inclination guide me.

I willfully ignored school work and tax prep. I finished a book (The Mona Lisa Vanishes). I watched the birds in the snow and took some pictures. I shoveled the walkway. I sat by the wood stove in the living room and read a new book (The Predictable Heartbreaks of Imogen Finch). For hours. From start to finish. Sheer, unadulterated bliss! I had wine and Tostitos for dinner (to hell with making soup!). Then, I finished the day by watching two episodes of “Miss Scarlet and the Duke” with Kurt. I almost never watch anything, but it felt like the perfect way to wind up my very low-key day.

After watching, we shut down the house and headed up to bed, ready to finish the day with more reading. Within minutes of my getting in bed, the lights flickered. Once. Twice. Three times…and gone. Oh, well. Hopefully, this will be a Camelot scenario and power will be on when we wake in the morning.

Outside the snow had turned to rain or ice. It lashed against the windows.

Inside, we turned on our book lights and read. 

It had been a really nice day.

March 2024 SOLC–Day 22
A huge thank you to Two Writing Teachers for all that they do to create an amazing community of writers and a safe, welcoming space to write, learn, share and grow.
http://www.twowritingteachers.org

It’s 1:53 am.

I’m snuggled in a nest of blankets, warm and cozy. The cat is curled atop them, between me and my husband. I feel her legs twitching madly in her sleep, and wonder idly if her dreams are pleasant or disturbed. Is she running toward something or running away?

Moments from yesterday drift through my mind, like a reel of bloopers at the end of a movie. Funny moments. Concerning ones. Mistakes. Triumphs.

It’s been a long, long week, and the last two weekends have been held hostage by work overflow. All the regular culprits–report cards and comments, conference prep, regular planning, etc. Thank goodness it’s Friday, with a weekend to follow. I’m ready for the break. I just need to get through today. Ew. I don’t like thinking that way–wishing a day away–but there it is.

The windows rattle with a gust of wind. It’s so cold outside. Recess duty will not be pleasant today! They’re forecasting snow for Saturday. Up to half a foot! We should go grocery shopping tonight. Maybe we can make soup. I know I have some good bread in the freezer. Depending on the roads, we might have to wait to get our tax information to the accountant until Sunday…Ugh, I still need to pull all of that together. Do I even have everything? Do I know where it is? I need to read over the new reading unit this weekend, and prepare to launch it next week. The new writing unit will follow all too shortly afterward. I feel the weekend slipping away, and sense the onslaught of the coming weeks looming. How many weeks is it until spring break? Didn’t we just have a break?

I sigh and pull the covers up around me. Take a deep breath. Roll over and find a comfortable position.

I hear Kurt breathing softly beside me. Through the covers, I can feel the weight and warmth of the cat. She is resting peacefully now. Her nighttime adventures are a thing of the past.

Outside, the wind still howls intermittently, rattling about. Slight drafts curl in around the edges of the windows in our old home. But I’m safe. I’m warm. I still have hours to sleep.

And so I do.