I just had a great time rewriting an earlier post from this summer. The Teachers Write challenge was to include some unusual things in your writing (names of scientists, brand name cereals, car parts, etc.) Here’s the new, hopefully improved version!
Sometimes early on a misting morning in July,
I stand and look out the rain-dropped window.
The garden vista blurred,
an oasis of moist green,
like Gregor Mendel’s peas,
verdant and ripe with promise.
The old Ford reclines in the back field
gastropodal silver trails crisscross its askew bumper.
Damp leaves rustle
Errant drops scatter to the ground
Birds call and I listen,
enthralled by the jungle echoes
of the pileated woodpecker
On the radio the distant buzz of voices
Irwin Gratz reports the latest scores
White Sox 8 Yankees 1
The house settles around me
The dog rustles and sighs, slipping deeper into Milk Bone dreams
The promising drip-drip-hiss of the coffee pot punctuates the silence
along with the Snap-Crackle-Pop of my Rice Krispies
I soften
lean into the moment
and breathe.
Beautiful! I especially like the ending–I can hear the coffee and the cereal.
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I too loved the ending. Felt myself sigh too. Had to ask Wester about gastropod, but immediately “saw” the trail of silver. Also loved “freckles” in the second edition of High Dive. Learning how to handle blogs and to reply. So glad you included me, Molly.
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