Techno Wizard–NOT

11454297503_e27946e4ff_hI’ll just say it and get it out of the way. I am not tech savvy. I’m not proud of it, but it’s true. I can do the basics (mostly), but anything beyond that and I’m essentially lost.

Unfortunately, my phone has been getting a bit quirky lately. First, with no warning, when I tried to forward photos through Messenger, the screen language switched to …Croatian? Russian? I’m not sure what language it was, but it had letters in it that I’d never seen before. I checked all my settings, but couldn’t figure out what was wrong. It was there to stay. But, hey, I figured I could live with it because I already knew what to click on to choose contacts, send, etc. I might even become iphone fluent in some unknown language. Silver lining!

But then this past Friday, I clicked on my camera and the entire screen turned black. I pushed the button to try taking a photo, and that worked. If I clicked on the photo icon, I could see the picture I’d just taken. But when I clicked on the camera again, the screen turned black. There was no way to figure out exactly what I was taking a picture of. This was less than ideal. I couldn’t even figure out a silver lining.

I happened to be near the cell phone provider’s store on Sunday, and noticed their parking lot was essentially empty. This is a rare occurrence and one to take advantage of, so I decided to pop in and ask for help.

I walked in the door. The store was empty of customers, and the three men working there jumped away from a small  huddle around a computer. Hmmmm…I wonder what was going on there?

“Wow, you guys looked guilty,” I said, laughing.

“Only because we weren’t at the door to welcome you and invite you in,” replied one of them swiftly.

I gave him a skeptical glance, but decided to let it go.

“How can we help you?” he added, moving away from his friends and to my side.

“Well, my phone is acting up,” I said. “The camera won’t work and when I try to send a photo through Messenger, the language switches to Croatian….or something.”

He looked at me quizzically. I held out my phone and clicked on the camera.

“See?” I asked.

He took the phone, looked at the black screen, clearly puzzled, then clicked around for a minute or so.

“I’ve never seen this before,” he finally said.

“Great,” I mumbled. That is so NOT what I wanted to hear. How much is that deductible again?

He clicked around the phone for a minute more, then handed it back to me, saying, “Oh. You just need to update your phone.”

“But I don’t want to update my phone,” I said.

“Well,” he said, patiently, “that’s what you need to do to fix this. You are three updates behind.”

“I know,” I said, “but I don’t want those updates to mess everything up on my phone. I like it the way it is…except with a working camera and no Croatian.”

“Well I can’t guarantee the updates won’t do that, but if you want your camera to work, you need to update, ” he repeated.

“But I really don’t want to update,” I said again.

“Okay,” he said, taking another tack. “Have you tried turning it off?”

“Um. No,” I replied, a bit sheepishly. “I never turn it off.”

“You never turn it off?”

“No,” I said, “I’m convinced it’ll make me provide it with some weird password to get back in, and I won’t know it.”

I think his sigh probably triggered seismic recorders, but he remained pleasant and restrained from rolling his eyes. Heroic, really.

“You really should turn it off at least once a week,” he finally said.

He took the phone back and checked something. He looked at me, even more askance.

“You don’t even have a lock or password on this phone.”

“Okay,” I said, “but I’m going to turn it off right here, so you can help me if it goes crazy.”

“Okay,” he said, resigned to his fate and no doubt regretting that he was the first of the three to offer to help me.

I pushed the button on the side of the phone. Nothing happened. I looked over at him.

“I need to push it for longer, don’t I?” I asked.

He simply nodded. So I pushed the button again, waited a moment, then watched it turn off. I pushed the button again to turn it back on. The screen popped up. No password required. Yay! Then, I clicked the camera button and… Hooray! No black screen!

I laughed. “This is great!” I said. “Thanks so much. Now when I leave, you can go back to your co-workers and say, ‘OMG, that lady was ridiculous. She hasn’t ever updated her phone and wasn’t even completely sure how to turn it off!'”

He laughed and walked me to the door, though I noticed he didn’t deny it. He really had been a nice guy, but I’m sure he was either entertained or appalled by me. Or both. He was, no doubt, happy to be see my quirks and problems leave the store, and I was just as happy to have my phone working again with no update needed. Win! Win!


13 thoughts on “Techno Wizard–NOT

  1. Christine says:

    I was expecting that you’d be talked in to buying a new phone. So glad this post had a happy ending! And all by a simple turning off of the phone. We all need a reset sometimes!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. margaretsmn says:

    I went through something as quirky with my phone and the turn off trick worked. I do that on computers, too. It’s a good first step and often solves the problem. I did giggle a little. You remind me of my mother-in-law with the fear of updates. I’m glad it all turned out well. You didn’t mention it, but the guys in the store must’ve looked like teenagers.

    Liked by 1 person

    • mbhmaine says:

      The guy who helped me was super nice but I’m sure he was appalled. lol Knowing that just really tickled my funny bone.
      PS On the update note, I so often hear comments along the lines of “my phone never worked the same after the update…” blah blah…so I don’t risk it!


  3. Amy Warntz says:

    Love this! I chuckled while reading it. I’m glad your camera is up and running. It would be catastrophic if you couldn’t capture all your beautiful photos for us to enjoy. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • mbhmaine says:

      I’m glad it made you laugh. It did me, too! I don’t typically take pictures with my phone camera, but still I count on it for work pics, etc. Thanks for the nice comment about my photos 🙂 Catastrophic? lol


  4. Before replying to your slice, I turnedy phone off, then back on. Thanks for the reminder. We parents are fortunate to have young’uns who bail us out in times of iPhonitis. I am on a need to know basis with my phone. No sense filling my head with stuff I use once a year.

    Liked by 1 person

    • mbhmaine says:

      Oh, Dan, I’m totally stealing that line: “I’m on a need to know basis with my phone!” Yes! I’m going to use it on the cell phone “kids” next time I have trouble. Here’s hoping that won’t be soon!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. elsie says:

    Well, at least you gave these guys something to talk about after you left. I chuckled all the way through. Glad you solved it so easily, but you might consider jumping into that update pool. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • mbhmaine says:

      I’m glad it made you laugh, as that was definitely how I intended it to come across. I still have no plans to jump into the update pool–not even dipping my toes in the water! 🙂


  6. Hee hee! I fought off my phone company for years insisting I didn’t want nor need and update, Molly. I, too, am always terrified of turning everything off for the same reason. I swear gremlins change my password when I’m not looking!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Debbie Lynn says:

    I was always against updates (on the computer) but now realize how important they are to keep things running smoothly. 🙂 Enjoyed your story.


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