Spam Diving

slice-of-life_individualEvery so often I look through my blog’s spam file. Once in a while, a legitimate comment will go astray, and I like to rescue it from its sojourn in the bad neighborhood.

Scanning spam comments is often boring, sometimes depressing, and occasionally humorous. I don’t even understand what function these comments serve. I mean, who benefits from me buying Amoxycillin on line? And who actually buys Amoxycillin from a blog comment advertisement? There are about a dozen related messages in my file right now, exhorting me to buy Amoxycillin on line. How does that even make sense?

Then there are the messages that seem to be trying to get me to use a different blogging system or web site or something. First, they pump me up,

“you aгre judt extremely fantastic. I actually like what you’ᴠe received right here, certainly like what you’re sayinbg and tthe best way
by whicһ you ѕay it. Yoou are making it entertaining
aand yyou continue to cаre for to stsy it smart.”

Then they go on to offer a different platform. Their effort typically does not inspire me to try their product. I remain hopeful that this one was written by a poorly designed computer program, rather then by a poorly educated human.

Spam comments definitely cluster around certain posts, and it’s interesting to note which posts attract the most comments. I have no idea how it works. For example, my post entitled “Raccoons and Cherita” has garnered a lot of spam. Why?! I really wonder about the algorithm that targets those specific words! This response amused me recently:

Screen Shot 2019-10-22 at 5.28.20 AM.png

The original blog post featured a poem about raccoons raiding my bird feeders. Apparently this commenter has an ongoing raccoon problem and is assuming that I’m now an expert in stymying raccoons.  They are sorely misled. The raccoons win pretty consistently.  My favorite line is the final line: “Having a look forward to look you.” I think I need to start saying that. I like the active feel of “having a look forward.” It’s much more interesting than saying “anticipating” .

Finally, my newest spam favorite, written recently in response to a three-year-old blog post about teaching struggles, is this one:

“I apologise that, I can help nothing. But it is assured, that you will find the correct decision. Do not despair.”

I love that they know their limits, yet offer empathy and a wonderful blanket reassurance. It’s so nice to know that someone cares and that they have confidence in me to work it all out.

If you have a bit of time to spare, you might just want to take a dive into your Spam file. You never know what you might find!



16 thoughts on “Spam Diving

  1. margaretsmn says:

    I’ve done this on occasion, but never thought about it with such intention. This is funny. We live in a weird techie world sometimes. I’m afraid what I may find hiding in the spam folder.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Jan G says:

    Hilarious! I laughed out loud while reading this and my daughter was slightly concerned about my well-being. I might just need to go spam-diving sometime. I’ll have a greater appreciation for the ridiculousness after reading your post. Thanks for the smiles.
    Laughter and Consistency

    Liked by 1 person

    • mbhmaine says:

      Sorry for the delay in posting your response! It was pending and I didn’t see the notice. (At least it didn’t go into my spam file!) Glad you enjoyed the post and thanks for stopping by and commenting!


  3. mainereader says:

    This is not SPAM; I am not a ROBOT. This writer is a friend who chuckled and grinned while enjoying your comments. I do love how you, the writer Molly, continue to be positive and look for the good even in SPAM. Sue Phillips


    Liked by 1 person

  4. arjeha says:

    This made me chuckle. I have never really looked closely at my spam, I just ignore it. Who knows what treasures I might be missing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • mbhmaine says:

      The first time I sort of checked it out by accident, but I discovered some legitimate comments that had been mistakenly sent to spam. I felt so bad! Now I check it periodically to make sure people’s comments haven’t been misdirected.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Amanda Potts says:

    Oh my – this makes me want to go check my spam folder. I’ve never seen it as a source of humour, but “Apparently this commenter has an ongoing raccoon problem and is assuming that I’m now an expert in stymying raccoons. They are sorely misled. The raccoons win pretty consistently.” Now *this* made me laugh. Thanks for a brief change of perspective!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. amandahoving says:

    So funny! In my blogging hey day, I used to write semi-regular posts on the spam I received…always a source of humor. Now the most “interesting” comments I seem to get are regarding purchasing cheap anitbiotics.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Love how you find so many places for your Slices. Another great idea. By the way, I get “Trump Alerts” and ParkSleepFly is certainly persistent. Zippy loans will approve me for $15K immediately. And the always dangerous “Congratulations – Confirmation needed.” Thanks for opening another cupboard of your life.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Kay Mcgriff says:

    I love this dive into your spam folder. Some of your messages remind me of a spam phone caller I’ve talked with multiple times this week at work.

    Liked by 1 person

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