This month Catherine Flynn posed a bold challenge for our group: Write a terza rima. A terza what? I honestly had no idea what that meant and I had to educate myself. It’s been a process!
Let me tell you, this form is not easy. It’s been an interesting and engaging challenge, but be sure to put the emphasis on challenge. Eek! The structure is so interwoven that any change sent ripples throughout the entire poem. At various times in the process, I ended up with repeated rhymes (Oops!), messed up rhyme schemes (Ugh!), and/or little meaning (Ouch!). At this point, it really needs to marinate a bit and go through another critique session, but the timer has gone off, and it’s time to post.
Acquainted with the dawn
(inspired by Robert Frost’s Acquainted with the Night)
I have been one acquainted with the dawn
who wanders through the trailing hours of night
compelled as if a thread through needle drawn
to marvel at the seeping glow of light,
bold skies batiked with streaks of reds and blues,
brocaded clouds, bird shadows stitched in flight.
Night’s worries dim as morning light debuts
and Nature’s peace suffuses, bringing ease.
I walk, admiring the changing views.
Webs, dew-bedecked, bedazzle in the breeze
and sun, with Midas touch, turns light to gold,
embroiders veils of diamonds in the trees.
Dark whipstitched boughs help earth to heaven hold,
create a living frieze where eagles fly,
and every day unfolds as if foretold.
Yet even as the sun climbs through the sky,
reflected in the river’s satin glow,
discarded trash lies ‘neath the brush nearby.
Within the water, plastics swirl and flow.
And changing seasons come with prickling fears.
How long can Nature brave each wielded blow?
My solace and my comfort through the years
is jeopardized with every passing day.
I listen to the news through veils of tears.
How long can Nature hold the tide at bay?
What can I do to shield this world I love?
What can we do to mend a world so frayed?
For now I hold it close and journey on.
I have been one acquainted with the dawn.
Molly Hogan ©2020 (draft)
This week’s Poetry Friday Roundup is hosted by the vivacious and prolific Laura Purdie Salas at her blog, Writing the World for Kids. Also, be sure to check out what my fellow Swaggers did with this terza rima challenge:
Linda Mitchell
Catherine Flynn
Margaret Simon
Heidi Mordhorst
Nix the comfort zone 
[…] Hogan at Nix the Comfort Zone Linda Mitchell at A Word Edgewise Heidi Mordhorst at My Juicy Little Universe Margaret Simon at […]
LikeLike
Wow! Molly, your poem has grown in words, images, and meaning. Your imagery is such that I can see what you see…”Webs, dew-bedecked, bedazzle in the breeze” Then I follow you to this heartbreak “How long can Nature brave each wielded blow?” You’ve woven a masterpiece.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Margaret. It’s been a process and it still needs some tinkering!
LikeLike
Molly, I adore those first two stanzas especially. All that needlework and fabric art imagery, yet it paints a picture of dawn so beautifully. I am an early bird, and this totally resonated with me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Laura. Dawn at the river is my refuge.
LikeLike
I felt deeply sad reading this. All that is threatened in then natural world. You really captured the beaty and the losses that may lie ahead. Lovely work.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s so strange (can’t think of the word I want here…) to turn to nature for respite when so many of my concerns center around what we’re doing to our natural world.
LikeLike
You did a beautiful job on this, certainly eliciting emotion in this reader. This definitely resonated with me. Thanks for sharing this.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow, Molly, a deeply poignant poem that showed such beauty for all of us to feel grateful for. That 2nd verse, awesome! Then the sad turning and questioning: “How long can Nature hold the tide at bay?” You may have thought this structure was a big challenge, but you mastered it beautifully!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much, Linda. I still want to play around with it a bit.
LikeLike
This is beautiful, Molly. This form does look like quite a challenge, but your poem flows with beauty as I read it
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Kay! I definitely had to revise this over and over! I still see a few necessary tweaks.
LikeLike
Wow, Molly. This form is NOT for the faint-hearted, but you took it on like a pro! I am impressed, and you, m’dear, should be proud.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Michelle! I never would have attempted it without Catherine’s gentle prod. 🙂
LikeLike
Well done, Molly! The added stanzas add so much depth to this poem. I also love all the needlework/fabric imagery. And the way you bring it all together in the final tercet with this line: “What can we do to mend a world so frayed?” Perfect. These questions are on my mind as well.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks again, Catherine, for posing this challenge. It was a doozy, but a very rewarding one.
LikeLike
Oh, wow! You worked on this poem more and look at it now…it’s beautiful. There are so many precious lines. But, you also have incredible meaning! I’m so in love with “whipstitched boughs”….and now too, “mend a world so frayed?” The sewing imagery is perfect. Well done.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Linda! Talking it through with the group really helped. I still messed up with my final couplet, but I think I can tinker it into submission 🙂
LikeLike
Very impressed with this, Molly. The rhyme scheme of the terza rima highlights the contemplative despair of the writing. Yet captures their beauty so well. Especially with all the precise needlework throughout. Still disappointed I didn’t get to see your dawn… xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks! You have an open invitation to visit the river with me, Kat!
LikeLike
Well done, Molly! Some of my favorite bits are “bird shadows stitched in flight,” the rhymes in the following stanza, and the ending. I believe you that the form is a challenge– I’m intimidated!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I enjoyed the puzzle aspect of it, Tabatha, but it’s so interwoven, that changing one part creates a big ripple effect. Unfortunately, I didn’t always notice all the ripples! lol
LikeLike
Ooh, I love this! I, too, am acquainted with the dawn… Ruth, thereisnosuchthingasagodforsakentown.blogspot.com
LikeLiked by 1 person
Best time of day!
LikeLike
You ladies certainly outdid yourselves with this one. Wow! I love the stitchery that weaves its way through yours from top to bottom. Amazing!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Christie. I may even tackle one again some day–still have to fix this one up though! lol
LikeLiked by 1 person
Brava for taking this challenge to fruition! A strong message lies in your poem that needs to be heard by many more, thank you for it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Michelle. It was indeed challenging and it felt good to push myself in a different direction.
LikeLike
Wow–you’ve stitched a gorgeous poem to go with a gorgeous photo. This seems like such a challenging form, and yours just flows. I particularly love this line: bold skies batiked with streaks of reds and blues
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Buffy. The sunrises are always inspiring over the river and I treasure my time there. I’ve wiled away many hours watching the sky patterns shift at dawn 🙂
LikeLike
Wow! the imagery in this poem is just stunning, Molly.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much, Tara. I never tire of wandering by the river at dawn.
LikeLike
Molly: The first stanzas grabbed me also. The batik and the brocade… quite lovely! Thanks for sharing this challenge. Your skills are rising with the sun.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Karen. I have no needlework skill, but it was fun to consider the imagery through that lens.
LikeLike
Molly, I read your post with the amazing poem that has such a beautiful visual within these lines: I have been one acquainted with the dawn
who wanders through the trailing hours of night
compelled as if a thread through needle drawn
Your new word coddiwomple came into my mind.
Great work with this format.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Carol, coddiwomple is the perfect word for my river time!
LikeLike