March 2020 SOLC–Day 16
A huge thank you to Two Writing Teachers for all that they do to create an amazing community of writers and a safe, welcoming space to write, learn, share and grow.
I spent all day at school with my colleagues, planning and organizing materials for distance learning. This is what our school lobby looks like now–Full of materials ready for students to pick up. So many people worked hard to make this happen in one day. I’m sure there will be glitches. I’m also sure we’ll work together, adapt and overcome them. But I’m sad. And I’m weary. And I don’t want to give the corona virus any more room in my brain.
My son and his fiancee just had to cancel their couples shower. I know that’s not the worst thing in the world, especially right now, but I just feel so bad for them. They’ve been planning for so long and were so excited. They’re trying hard to stay optimistic, but who knows what will happen with the wedding…
Parents keep writing, thanking me for my work, thanking me for touching base, telling me to stay well. With every e-mail, my eyes prick with tears.
This is all just so much.
When I got home, I started thinking about what I would write tonight. I turned to Kurt and announced, “I’ll be damned if I’m going to write about the corona virus. I don’t want to write about the corona virus and its impact. I’m sick of thinking about it but my whole day was about the corona virus. It’s all I can think about.”
He looked up at me, surprised at my outburst.
“I’m just sick of it,” I said again, “and I am NOT going to let it take over my writing, too! I won’t!”
He looked a bit taken aback, though he was wise enough not to say much.
A few minutes later, I pushed aside my computer and put on my sneakers.
“Are you going to work out?” Kurt ventured cautiously.
“Yes.” I said shortly, then headed into the spare room and began power walking on the treadmill.
About 15 minutes later, Kurt poked his head into the room.
“The deer are out back,” he whispered, as if they could hear him from there. Or maybe he was just a bit tentative about my response.
I kept on walking for a few minutes. The deer have been coming by most evenings lately. I didn’t need to go see them. I walked some more.
Then, after a few minutes, I pushed the red button, and the treadmill slowly came to a complete stop. Kurt knew what I needed. I’d return to the treadmill later, but for now I’d make time to see the deer. I grabbed my camera and snuck outside.
There they were–a momma and two babies. They grazed in the field contentedly. I crouched behind the wood pile and zoomed in for a photo. One of the young ones raised its head and stared at me for a long, long time. I stared back.
Somehow it just made me feel better.