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I woke this Saturday morning with a heavy feeling. A weight in the pit of my stomach.
The weight shifted, and I realized it was my cat.
Later, after dislodging said cat and drinking a cup of coffee, I realized I’ve never properly thanked my cats for their morning efforts on my behalf. So, here goes…
Dear Squirrel and Juniper,
I’m writing to thank you for your dedication. You have clearly appointed yourselves the responsible parties for ensuring that I remain gainfully employed. I know you also are well aware that I love watching the sunrise, and I appreciate how consistent you are in ensuring that I don’t ever miss one. You even allow for plenty of commute time in case I want to drive elsewhere to watch it. There is no need for an alarm clock with you two around! I’m certain that your morning servings of Meow Mix and Temptations treats do not influence your motivation in the slightest. I know you have only the purest, most selfless, of intentions.
Things never get boring with you two around! While the sure-fired walking up and down my spine or over my stomach (again and again and again) always works, it’s nice to mix it up with a cold nose to the face. Squirrel, you especially excel at this! Juniper, the recent tapping at my skull with the merest hint of claw exposed was effective, but perhaps stepped over the line a bit. I’m not saying I don’t admire your creativity, but perhaps you need to temper your enthusiastic job performance.
Also, no one can say you’re all work and no play! You get the job done, but also make sure to build in a bit of fun. How did you know I’d enjoy crawling on my hands and knees in the dark with my hands groping to find my glasses, my Fitbit, and sometimes even my phone? Wow! You start your day honing your stealth batting moves as you launch those items off the beside table one by one, and then, the thuds as they hit the floor efficiently rouse me. Masterful efficiency! You’ve gotten some exercise, I’m awake, and I get to start the day with an exciting challenge. Impressive!
Finally, I appreciate your ongoing concern for my physical health. Walking on my computer while I’m trying to write is a clear reminder to me that it’s important to take time to pet you. I know you know all about those studies that show that stroking pets is calming and brings down blood pressure. Squirrel, your strategy of aggressively snuggling and lying on my arms is unique to you. It can’t be that comfortable for you, but it ensures that I don’t ignore my health and well being by working too hard. Juniper, the technique of having me get up and down to let you in and out multiple times within a few minutes is brilliant! It must be exhausting and annoying for you, but it’s a great way to get my aerobic exercise in for the day. I so appreciate both of your sacrifices on my behalf, and I feel reassured knowing that you have my health in mind at all times.
So, in recognition of all that both of you do for me each morning, I’m giving you a day off! Yes! Tomorrow, Sunday, you can sleep in. Somehow, I’ll manage to muddle through without you.
Enjoy your day off!
Please.
Molly
Squirrel 
Juniper
Nix the comfort zone 
I Love This!!! I don’t have cats but I have two dogs and feel the same way! I may tell them thank you today!
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I didn’t even think of thanking my cats for providing a topic for today’s blog post! Oops!
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I so enjoyed this and I needed the laugh this morning because I too, was awakened by the walking of a cat all over me and the wet nose bumping against me. I have noticed that we never wake dad up this way, just mom. They are ensuring that we have quiet bonding time with just them.
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I know! Aren’t they just so thoughtful!? lol
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Very fun slice! I hope all the cat-loving Slicers get to read it!
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Thanks! It was fun to write 🙂
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I enjoyed meeting Squirrel and Juniper this morning. Their photos are adorable. We do not allow our cats out of the kitchen at night. They do not sleep with us, but you know they would love to.
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Juniper actually knows how to open doors, so trying to keep her in or out of somewhere is nigh impossible!
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This was fun to read! I don’t have cats, but have a dog, and relate well to you. Pets are the best!
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This was great. You had me at “the weight shifted and I realized it was my cat.” This is just the right tone. It fits my attitude toward my own morning alar. At 90 pounds, he sleeps in a crate, not on top of me, but he, too, is very tuned in to my need for early rising, work breaks, and frequent walks. Really loved this.
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Thanks! Isn’t it great that our pets look out for us so diligently?
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Roger and I both really enjoyed this, Molly! Parts of it sound like our cat…!!!
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Your cat sets the alarm even earlier!
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What a fun read! You hooked me with that word play of waking up to the weight in the pit of your stomach and chuckled all the way through to the end.
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Thanks! I’m so glad you enjoyed it. I had fun writing it–in between letting the cat outside and inside and outside and inside!
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Oh my goodness! I laughed out loud as i read this early this morning. I do love cats–they have such a great sense of humor! (even when we do not see the humor)
Kim
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I love how you turned your cats’ “help” into a positive spin! I hope they do take that day off!
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[…] I wake with a weight in my belly. This time it wasn’t the cat. […]
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