SOLC Day 4 and PF: The Yielding

March 2023 SOLC–Day 4
A huge thank you to Two Writing Teachers for all that they do to create an amazing community of writers and a safe, welcoming space to write, learn, share and grow.

My post today is serving as both a Poetry Friday post (posted late!) and a Slice of Life.

This month Margaret Simon posed the monthly challenge in our Inklings writing group. She invited us to, “Explore the use of anaphora in a poem, how the repetition of a line or phrase can add depth to the theme.” I had initial thoughts of writing a triolet or something nuanced and lovely, but February disappeared. Then, in the weird way of the world of writing, I woke yesterday morning with some oddly melding thoughts, including Edgar Allen Poe’s “Raven”, in mind. I dove right in, but unfortunately, I had to stop writing to go to school. So, here’s a story in drafty poetic form, posted a bit late for the Poetry Friday Roundup. (After trying to use Poe’s work as a mentor, I am immensely impressed by his skills! Wow! )

The Yielding

Once upon a long week’s ending, teaching, planning, e-mail sending,
last ditch cleaning of the classroom, tote bags hefted, out the door
While I drove home, nearly sleeping, suddenly there came a peeping
sudden thoughts bestirred and cheeping, cheeping as they’ve done before
“Just some thoughts,” I muttered crossly, “peeping as they’ve done before.
Nothing that I need explore.”

But the thoughts were still compelling, never shrinking, always swelling
as I drove along the back roads, thoughts kept drifting to the store, 
Then the wheel was swiftly turning, as my mind was deeply burning
with the thought that still was churning, churning at resolve’s frail shore
White flag flying, I conceded, burning at resolve’s frail shore
“Just one bag and not one more!”

Once I’d yielded to the luring, gave up thoughts of craving-curing,
I slunk to the candy aisle, treading paths I’d walked before
Bright display was quite eye-catching, soon the plan began a’hatching, 
and my hand was quickly snatching, snatching, paying, out the door!
“Robin’s eggs!” my breath was hitching, catching with the treat in store
“Just one piece and not one more!”

But that feeble vow unraveled, mounds of candy quickly traveled
past my lips and down my gullet, there to lie on stomach’s floor 
As the mounting candies tumbled, suddenly my stomach grumbled
“Should I stop”, I barely mumbled, mumbled as my gut implored
But the seismic heavings heightened, grumbled as my gut implored
Quoth my stomach, “Nevermore!”

©Molly Hogan, draft


If you’d like to see what the other Inklings did with this challenge, click on their names to check out their poems:

Linda Mitchell
Margaret Simon
Heidi Mordhorst
MaryLee Hahn
Catherine Flynn

This week’s Poetry Friday Roundup is hosted by Tanita at her blog. Be sure to stop by to enjoy some poetry goodness!

28 thoughts on “SOLC Day 4 and PF: The Yielding

  1. jmryan99 says:

    This is amazing! Now I want some Easter candy!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. maryleehahn says:

    I am literally laughing out loud! You have made Poe proud!! The foreshadowing in the first stanza (peeping and cheeping)! The “just one bag” which let me know this was not a nature poem about spring peepers (for me, it would be a poem about the allure of Cheetos). Bravo! Well done!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. cindaroo42 says:

    I love this! I was chuckling out loud by the end. Your word choice is great and it gave the perfect cadence
    My favorite line is “White flag flying, I conceded, burning at resolve’s frail shore
    “Just one bag and not one more!” So good Molly! Then you ended with “As the mounting candies tumbled, suddenly my stomach grumbled
    “Should I stop”, I barely mumbled, mumbled as my gut implored” 🙂 So good!
    Enjoy that treat!

    Liked by 1 person

    • mbhmaine says:

      Those treats are long gone, Cindy! lol I’m so glad you liked that line as I totally revised it over and over again before settling on that version. Hope you enjoyed the epic snowfall!


  4. amyilene says:

    This is brilliant!! I won’t even dare to try it myself (although maybe?)…so many favorite lines and moments, but, like Poe, it is the whole that is so incredibly impressive.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Brava, Molly! As Mary Lee said, you have done Poe proud! Jelly beans are my nemesis at this time of year!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Your poem is so cleverly funny, I’m lol too and 😊! Wonderful play with “a’hatching” and “Robin’s Eggs” terrific, thanks!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Karen Edmisten says:

    I LOVE this! So fun and crafted so perfectly! Poe would be proud and would have to feel happy, evermore happy!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Tabatha says:

    Great verbs and sounds, very Molly-Poe 💖

    Liked by 1 person

  9. lynnedorfman says:

    Well, I am impressed! I have to go back and read “The Raven” again. I saw John Astin perform this poem at the Keswick Theater in Glenside about 15 years ago – maybe more. Astin made a great Poe!
    Your poem is amazing and I cannot wait to share with my husband when he gets home from the store. He’s probably buying Peeps and chocolate-covered butter cream eggs as I am writing to you. Such a great poem – such fun! Brava!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Linda Mitchell says:

    lol…you are the master of the anaphora!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Oh my! That was masterful! Bravo! And I love those candies! But your words? Pure poetry!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. margaretsmn says:

    This knocked my socks off. Wow!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. tanita says:

    “Just some thoughts,” I muttered crossly, “peeping as they’ve done before.
    Nothing that I need explore.”
    I *WISH* the lack of exploring would happen, but alas. The Yielding is why we can’t have nice things. ☺ This is SO very good — the rhythms are pure Poe, and I love the vocabulary. Thanks for a hearty laugh.


  14. oh gosh, I was not expecting the turn to self-deprecating humor! it works really well with the expected serious sound a la Poe! I’m laughing!


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