March 2024 SOLC–Day 8
A huge thank you to Two Writing Teachers for all that they do to create an amazing community of writers and a safe, welcoming space to write, learn, share and grow.
http://www.twowritingteachers.org
This post is also for this week’s Poetry Friday.
If you read my post yesterday, you might be wondering if I went to Boot Camp last night or not. Here’s an update…
I get home from school determined to go to Boot Camp, though I do NOT want to do it. Not AT ALL. I am bone tired, physically, but also just so tired of rushing. I want a night where I don’t have to do anything, for at least a little while. Outside, it’s cold and rainy. Inside, the chair beckons. The wood stove beckons. I give in to the lures for just a moment, curl up on the chair, and within moments, fall fast asleep.
I wake up a little bit later and immediately look at my watch.
“Phew! I didn’t miss Boot Camp!” said no one in my house.
With incredible effort and stunning discipline, I overcome the forces of inertia and propel myself into exercise clothes and out the door, whining all the way.
At the Y, before class starts, everyone is throwing around the “f” word.
“We’re going to do centers tonight and you’re going to work really hard!” the instructor says.
“Fun!” someone replies enthusiastically.
Fun? Huh. That’s not the f word that came to my mind.
“We’ll get the music going and really get into it. You’re going to leave it all out there!”
“Fun!” someone else chirps happily.
If you’re a fan of the move, “The Princess Bride”, you’ll understand that after a few more “Fun’s”, it was really hard not to say, “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”
Soon enough, the instructor has explained all the stations, and we’re off.
I start with jump roping. I quickly get tired. Keep going! Just distract yourself. Think about something else… I often try to write poetry when insomnia strikes, but I’m pretty sure I can’t compose while bouncing. Just pick a word and rhyme. (Please bear in mind that I’m feeling overwhelmed at this whole exercise Boot Camp thing, so I have to do something to keep going.)
rope
scope
hope
dope
dope
DOPE
bope?
BEEP! Next station.
I stumble to the next station, some sort of stair torture.
I recognize that I might be having a less than stellar mindset and try to turn off the negativity.
Come on, Molly. I tell myself in my best cheerleader voice. You can do this. Just try.
try
fly
die
Ohhhhkay, maybe choose another word.
The instructor’s voice rises over the music, “If you need to stop and catch your breath, that’s okay.”
Breath, I think, panting heavily and trying to catch mine. Good word.
breath
death
Okay, maybe this rhyme thing isn’t working so well. I stop rhyming and try to focus on my form at the current station, but before I know it, I’m rhyming again.
“Finish strong!”
strong
long
wrong
wrong
WRONG!
BEEP!
“Next station!”
I’m now doing something called Crawling Bear. At least I think that’s what the instructor called it. I am literally on my hands and feet with my butt stuck up in the air, scuttling around a marked path. (I’d describe it some more, but you really don’t want to do too much envisioning here.)
My rhyme brain and negativity decide to join forces.
What rhymes with suck?
Oh!!! The f word!
So, I repeat that one over and over and over in my head until…
BEEP!
“Next station!”
And so it goes.
Eventually it ends. And I did it all. More or less.
On the way home I compose a limerick in honor of the occasion (and so that I could technically link this post to Poetry Friday lol).
There once was a foolish old lass
who started an exercise class
Her thighs were a-quakin’
her biceps a shakin’
‘Twas all a big pain in her a*s!
If you’re interested in checking out some much more meaningful rhyming and poetry, head over to Laura Purdie Salas’s blog. She’s hosting Poetry Friday and celebrating the launch of her newest book, “Oskar’s Voyage”. You’ll find some fascinating tidbits on the book’s creation, especially how it moved from prose to poetry.
Nix the comfort zone 
That boot camp class sounds like fun, said Melanie never. You had me laughing, and my favorite was the bear crawl. I have spent time bear crawling with some of my daughters, and I think my vocalizations were similar to yours, but unpoetic. Hope the body’s functional today. Sometimes getting out of bed the next morning is as hard as the class.
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I didn’t even know the bear crawl was a thing. I thought he’d made that term up! lol
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This made me laugh out loud! You did such a great job conveying such humor in your situation especially when you said “Phew I didn’t miss Boot camp!-said no one in the house”. You finally went full circle when your true F word came to mind! The fact it was through poetry is so perfect here! Hope the SOLC kept your mind on the true FUN in the boot camp!
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Thanks, Cindy. The joy of slicing is finding humor and ideas in less than delightful situations.
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O, golly Molly!
This post [for this reader]
is more F U N
than a lolly.
Your pain, is our Laugh Out Loud gain.
Here’s hoping you sink into Saturday & Sunday with some serious soothing of Self.
Hugs [ where is doesn’t hurt:)
your fan,
jan
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Well, this comment was a poetic delight! Thanks, Jan!!
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You had me laughing, Molly. However, it’s the next day and I hope you’re still moving without much pain. At least you’ve got the weekend ahead!
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Thanks, Patty. It wasn’t too bad.
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LOL! Love the limerick. I was with you all the time as I read this post. I actually miss those classes. I dropped my gym membership during the pandemic. I know the pain of the circuits, but they don’t last long, which is always what I hold onto, And I need to pick up poetry Friday again. I haven’t joined in that in a very long time.
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Poetry Friday is another wonderful community. I hope I see you there!
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I’ve participated a few times. I should get back into PF.
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Molly, this is incredibly funny! I love the idea of thinking up rhymes to get through an “exercise situation.” When pedaling my bike up a hill, I often just start counting (nothing in particular, just reciting numbers in my head). I am looking forward to giving rhyme a go! (snow, no, woah!)
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When I used to run and was running up a steep hill, I would think, “My butt will fall off. My butt will fall off.” lol It was motivation of a sort! Also, I used to compose haiku and count syllables in my head a lot! Got to do whatever it takes, I guess!
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Thanks for sharing. This post would be a great model to teach students tone. Your voice shines in lines like “’Phew! I didn’t miss Boot Camp!’ said no one in my house.”
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Thanks! I had a lot of fun writing this. (Not as much fun experiencing the actual event!)
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Crying! Oh Molly, first – good for you that you dragged yourself to Boot Camp. Those f-words would’ve come up far sooner with my exhales! Love the rhyming strategy, too!
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It was too funny how those rhymes kept leading me on a downhill spiral of sorts!
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Molly, you are a comedian! I am laughing so hard–how no one in your house said you hadn’t missed Boot Camp, the first f-words you heard, and on and on through the rhyming, and that limerick! Amazing! Funny! Poetic! Inconceivable!
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The word “inconceivable” will forever remind me of “The Princess Bride.” I’m so glad you knew the reference!
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Love this from beginning to end! First because I fully relate and second, the humor offers just the levity I need at the end of a very long week. Well done – the writing, the showing up and following through!
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Thanks! We’ll see how it goes from here…
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Thanks, Sara! I think there may be a few detours along the route!
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I love boot camp…until I get there & see burpees on the board. And I have one trainer who will often yell “This is so much fun!!” We are often thinking of a different f word if we’re doing burpees, manmakers, or stair runs. But it sounds like you had a great circuit workout.
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I’ll just say that it was an experience…lol
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First off, YAY you! Bear crawls are awful! You had me laughing all the way through this! Your honesty about what it feels like to work out is spot on and hysterical! I sometimes recite all the words to a Mary Had a little Lamb or how many times can I sing the alphabet or count by 2s to 100 or pray just to get through! Sounds to me like you’re right where you belong…getting stronger one “f” station at a time!
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I’m still surprised that bear crawls are actually a real thing. As I commented to someone above, I thought that was just the instructor trying to be cute. He calls his class “Happy Hour Circuit” which just slays me!
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We were actually doing bear crawl pull throughs this morning and I thought of you!
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That is too funny!
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Brilliant the way you rhyme your way to those deadly endings. Nothing like a great bad experience to produce some inspired slices. I think this might be the kid of experience that my daughter refers to as Type 2 fun. Only in retrospect and through the lens of a successful response (written, sung or shouted.
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I love the idea of Type 2 fun–thanks so much for sharing that!
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I actually wrote a post about Type 2 Fun a few years ago. https://humbleswede.wordpress.com/2019/08/20/type-2-fun/
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And I read it, loved the concept, and commented on it then. Sigh….aging….
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Oh, and I could have noted that and saved us both the trouble. Double sigh.
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Molly, this is hysterical, I laughed all the way through, and good for you for trying to stick it out and rhyme on top of that. Great limerick to end with too, thanks for all the smiles! 😊
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Glad you enjoyed it, Michelle. It was fun to write. 🙂
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This is hilarious. I loved reading every word! I especially love your rhymes, and “it does not mean what you think it means”
Amazing job writing – and going to boot camp!
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Thanks! This may well have been my one and only boot camp experience, so I suppose it deserves to be memorialized.
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You did it! Good for you for indulging in all that fun (and rhyme) and for turning your experience into a limerick that also works for poetry Friday!
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Boot Camp! You did it! And even came up with a way to make it fun! Looking forward to more adventures and I’m checking to see if we have one at our Y. :)
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I’m really not sure if I should wish you luck in your search, or not! lol
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Your limerick made me laugh. Thank you! Happy Poetry Friday.
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Thank you!
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Humor suits you, Molly. I often try to distract myself during Stretch and Pump class because a minute seems forever and then on we go to another exercise that is a struggle. The limerick is hilarious, also. I’ll think of you at Boot Camp, the next time my thighs start “a-quakin”.
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A minute does seem like forever. At one point I was literally thinking, “Come on, Molly! You’ve had contractions that lasted longer than this!” lol
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I am quite sure that this was much more fun for me to read that for you to go through your Boot Camp in order to earn those rhymes to slice about 😂. I thoroughly enjoyed the humor and wit here. I find this month of slicing often makes me think: “welp, this situation is pretty awful, but at least I’ll have something interesting to slice about!”. A little silver lining, if you will. Thanks for a great slice!
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Getting a slice is such a silver lining! I also often think about this as I go through the month. Sometimes it pushes me to get moving and try new things.
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This slice was hilarious! We have all been there before. You narrated your inner thoughts perfectly! I enjoyed the bit about the “f word”…when it was “fun” I couldn’t stop giggling!
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So glad it made you laugh!
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I am laughing out loud at 5:56 am–you are so fun and funny as FUN!
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Thanks, Linda!
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LOL! 🙂
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Molly, I silently giggled my way through your post (I’m the only one up right now), and thank you for keeping it real, girl! When I do the 30-minute express workout at Planet Fitness, I really need someone there yelling that it’s fun (right.) and that I need to work harder. Love your limerick, though no way would I have kicked you off the roundup without it ;>)
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It’s nice to know I wouldn’t have gotten the boot! Thanks again for hosting!
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Yes, yes…laughed all the way through! Hilarious! I was tempted to say “I feel your pain” but you know darned well it isn’t true… but I do salute your fortitude and wish you good health, and thanks for the humor… and thank you for posting.
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I’m happy to share the pain, lol! I didn’t feel too bad the next day, but still I’m not sure I’ll go again. It wasn’t exactly what I was looking for.
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I’m still pulling for you in retirement becoming a humor columnist a la Dave Barry. You tickle the funny bone. (Now that is a dated expression.) Amazing, the plans I have for you in retirement! One’s going to hit, mark my words!
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Maybe if you come up with the perfect plan, I can retire early? lol I appreciate your faith in me and need to start a list of your ideas!
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I can definitely relate to the “foolish old lass” – loved reading your post, made me smile today. 🙂
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Glad it made you smile! Thanks for reading and commenting.
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Oh, I love this and laughed out loud! I wouldn’t even have made it out the door on a night like the one you described. But nights like this do offer fuel for poetry — and fun for your readers (“fun” works in this context, if not in the one you described.) 😀
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