The day looms before me. I can feel myself pulling away from it. Wanting to hide. Seeking anywhere to linger in a bubble of ignorance. I try to ground myself to this moment. Listen to the slight trickle of water in the aquarium. Hear the faint tick-tick-tick of the clock in the kitchen. Outside it’s still dark. The day awaits. There’s nothing I can do right now.
Later, I’ll go to school for a half day of PD (professional development). No one’s mind will be on what we’re doing. Then I will vote. I will not tune in to the media today. Why crank up the anxiety volume? I’m not even sure I’ll check the news on Wednesday morning. I don’t expect that things will have been decided yet, and I’m so concerned about what might be coming. I can feel anxiety growing like a toxic algae bloom, deadly and smothering.
So, again, I breathe in and feel my lungs expand with air. I listen to the water trickle in the aquarium. I hear the far off hum of tires on the road. Others have begun their days. I’m trying to remember that we are all linked, but I feel the embers of anger stirring beneath my anxiety. How have we gotten to this place?
A faint tapping begins on the windows. I can hear raindrops hitting the fallen leaves. The water still trickles. The clock still ticks. No light has yet appeared on the horizon.
The day still looms, but now I’m writing. Soon, I’ll post these words to share. I’ll read other posts. Comment. Connect.
Later, I will vote.
That’s what I can do right now.
Nix the comfort zone 
Good morning. We are with you
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks! There’s comfort in being part of a community crossing fingers, voting and hoping together.
LikeLike
Connect. Let’s all just connect.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It helps, right?
LikeLike
You pulled me in right here in this paragraph:
So, again, I breathe in and feel my lungs expand with air. I listen to the water trickle in the aquarium. I hear the far off hum of tires on the road. Others have begun their days. I’m trying to remember that we are all linked, but I feel the embers of anger stirring beneath my anxiety. How have we gotten to this place?
That last question – – this is, I think, how we all feel. How in the world have we gotten here? I, for one, am glad to be working today. To have a busy release. I do confess I wish it were a half day instead of a full one, but I’m glad to have a job to keep me busy today for sure.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Busy is going to be important tomorrow, too, I think.
LikeLike
I love how you used all your senses to write this post which is so filled with your inner feelings. NOw that your plan for the day is set in writing, I wish you so peace and calm and easy breathing. I have to say, you are making good chooses in how you will spend Election Day 2024.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Sally. It was actually good to be at school and then voting felt good, too. Being a part of democracy in action is powerful. I did my best to use my mental powers to influence others’ votes while I waited in line. I guess I’ll have to wait to see how successful that was!
LikeLike
YES! All the emotions in your post are in me, too. (I am doing my best to ignore everything until this evening, so I thought writing about it might set me off.) I appreciate the way you put into words exactly how I am feeling today. “Anxiety growing like a toxic algae bloom…” YES.
I will be thinking of you! (And so many others, too, today, like my granddaughter, and my transgender relative. And so many more….)
LikeLiked by 2 people
I, too, like your phrasing “Anxiety growing like a toxic algae bloom.”
LikeLiked by 1 person
I wasn’t going to write either, but connecting felt so important to me. I’m on media blockout for as long as I can be. I will know soon enough.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Loom is such an appropriate verb. I feel it. The 2016 polls favoring Hillary gives me pause today. Usually, I stay up late to see the results. There was no better political evening than Barack Obama in 2008 speaking at Grant Park in Chicago the night he won. I’ll not stay up. I’ll not be tossed about with the waves of good news/bad news for my candidate, Kamala.
“Hope is mandatory.” I remain hopeful.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’m still hopeful here, but I definitely do not want to ride the rollercoaster.
LikeLike
I feel all of this deep in my bones. I am a news junkie and doom-scroll constantly, but today I’m hiding in books, watching tv, exercising, writing, trying to stay away from the news. It’s hard. I have theories about how we reached this point. I just hope we have the wisdom as a nation to break the stranglehold that has gripped us since 2015.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I so hope we show that wisdom!
LikeLiked by 1 person
This really resonates. Like Glenda I’m a news junkie. It’s hard to pull away, but important that we do so.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I am not a news junkie at all, but I’m actively working to avoid it right now. It will be hard to do so tomorrow, as I’m sure the incoming results will be the dominant topic of conversation amongst my co-workers. I will be most surprised if anything is determined by tomorrow morning, though. We’ll see…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think connecting is the most important thing now. I am glad I have the day off and can sit on the sofa watching Power Rangers with my grandson. Soon we will read a book together. And I will breathe. I already voted.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love that you were spending time with your grandson! For me, a half day was pretty perfect. Just busy enough at school to keep my brain occupied, and then I managed to tuck in a couple of afternoon appointments around voting. I’ve done what I can. Now the waiting starts.
LikeLike
Like you, I feel disconnected and fretful today! I described it to my friend at the gym this morning as having too much coffee without drinking any coffee at all! I have already voted and saved a big course creation project to work on during the long wait ahead, but instead, I am reading blogs and wasting time as I too wait….and wonder..
LikeLiked by 1 person
Fretful is a good word to describe this feeling. I hope you’ve been able to find some tranquility during your day!
LikeLike
Molly, your story expresses what so many of us are feeling today and this evening. I spent the day unplugged on the beach and will spend this evening painting. No media for me tonight or I won’t sleep!
LikeLike