This morning as I walked out to the car, the horizon was aglow, lighting up the dark. It was lovely, but it didn’t stir me as it usually would. Its impact felt muted. Beauty is having a tough time finding its way inward these days. There’s so much to slog through first, I guess. This feeling has been hard to shake, and honestly, I’m not even sure that I should shake it.
As I moved forward, there was an unexpected flash of color in the doorway of our free-standing “office”. I took a small detour to check it out, and the sudden incongruity of the reflection pleased me. I snapped a photo with my phone.
As I stood there, I suddenly heard rustling and crunching out beyond the zone of visible light.
“What’s that?”
It was probably deer. Probably. Most days I would have imagined bears, coyotes and/or a roaming raving maniac, and would have stepped lively back into the light and then scampered into my car. But this morning I didn’t care. These days I vacillate between deadened and defiant. I’m not sure which was dominant at this point, but I took another step into the dark, gazing about me. The noises got louder, seemingly closer. Whatever was out there clearly wasn’t worried by my presence. I was still pretty sure it was deer. My eyes scanned the field in the dim light. I could see nothing, other than the dim shadows of trees and the hint of high weeds in the fields. The noises continued. Finally, the awareness of time passing pulled me back toward to my car.
As I drove down the driveway, I kept my eyes peeled. I drove a bit slower. Glanced to the left. Glanced to the right. And then, sure enough, there it was, barely visible in the dim light. A small deer standing in the front yard. I’m sure there were probably more of them, based on all the noise I’d heard, but this was the only one I saw. And yes, deer are plentiful in Maine. And yes, I see them frequently. But still, this sighting somehow felt like a small victory. A small light in the dark.
At the end of our driveway, I turned to head out toward the main road. As I pulled onto Main Street, another flash of color caught my eye. At some point during the last 24 hours, our neighbor had carefully wound brightly colored lights around each segment of a tree. A bold rainbow tree now decorated their side yard.
My spirits lifted just a bit.
Yet another small light in the dark.
Nix the comfort zone 
“These days I vacillate between deadened and defiant.”
I relate. Thanks for sunset in the window glass and the colored lights. It cheered me a bit.
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Got to embrace the bright when you can 🙂
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Just loved this. Recognize my conditi
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It’s hard to absorb, isn’t it?
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Such moments help us to remember there is not enough darkness in the world to extinguish the light of a small candle. This is my favourite quote.
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I love that quote. You had mentioned it to me in the past, and I was thinking of you and that quote when I was writing.
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You truly had me right there with you as you explored to see what was making the noise. The photo reflecting the light on the glass panes in the door is gorgeous, and I get the Maine feel from the picture. I am going to be visiting Kennebunkport next week, and I can’t wait to see the sights! Thanks for sharing your morning with us!
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Oh! Have fun in Kennebunkport! Have you been to Maine before? I hope the weather cooperates. (Coincidentally, Margaret S. will be here next week also, though a bit north or where you’ll be.)
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I want to focus on beauty and you have given me a balm in your photo and writing.
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I’m working hard on my focus. I’m so glad this felt soothing to you.
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We were walking in a nearby (fairly urban) metropark close to dusk on Sunday. We, too, heard an unusual rustling, but it was…TURKEYS! A flock of about six, scrabbling with their impossibly long legs in the leaf litter. (Yes, there’s a poem about it…) Oh, those glimmers…
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Flocks of turkeys can be so funny! There always seems to be a straggler or two. I look forward to seeing the poem that emerges from that inspiration.
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Cultivating a rich inner life is so important these days, holding despair and joy at the same time (and even getting comfortable with doing it?). It’s a tall order. I love your office door photo.
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That is indeed the trick, I think, Tabatha.
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We all can take one small step, then another. The world needs our light, yours and mine.
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Speaking of lights…there was a lovely light awaiting me when I got home from school today, in the form of a book from you and Hannah! Thank you so much! It looks wonderful, and I can’t wait to dive in and check out the author’s adventures. Do you and Hannah know her?
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There is a story about Just Up The Road by Chelsea Diehl. It’s very cool. I will email the story to you now.
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