Somehow January has flown by. I just realized that I haven’t managed to show up for Poetry Friday more than once. Yikes! That’s a trend I intend to break, so I’m showing up a day late to the gathering.
I love when Pádraig Ó Tuama reminds me to try out a pantoum (here). His formula always yields interesting results. He says to write 8 lines, number them and put them into this order: 1,2,3,4 2,5,4,6 5,7,6,8 7,3,8,1. Then he says, “As lines repeat, feel free to punk them up a bit.” So here’s my pantoum-ish poem:
New Year’s Day
I forgot to watch for the first bird
I watch the snow fall instead
The trees shiver, draped in winter white and
we have eight blue birds at the feeder
I watch the snow fall
Even inside, the air by the windows is cold
While blue birds come and go from the feeder
my pen stumbles and starts
The air by the windows remains cold
As the moon descends, the sun peeks over the horizon
My pen stumbles and starts
The stack of firewood is getting low
The moon has disappeared: the sun peeks over the horizon
The trees are graceful, draped in winter white
The stack of firewood is getting low
I forgot to watch for the first bird
©Molly Hogan, draft
This week’s Poetry Friday is hosted by Tabatha at her blog, The Opposite of Indifference.
Nix the comfort zone 
A beautiful snapshot into the mind of a writer, distracted by the winter scene outside the window and invasive thoughts of things neglected (first bird, bringing in wood).
We thought we heard bluebirds while walking recently in the neighborhood (according to the Merlin app at any rate). My friend sent pictures of some at her feeder, so I’m feeling more confident that we did. Even if I haven’t seen them, I love knowing they are there. There are so many things we can’t see with our own eyes, but knowing they exist in the world gives huge helpings of hope.
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I love your awareness of the hope to be found in the unseen. I think there’s a poem there!
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I love feeling success with this form. I tried it with a poet friend recently and should go back to punk it. Yours sets the serene scene of your farmhouse in Maine on a snowy day. While I don’t think I would take too well to the cold, I do love the quiet noticing of your poem.
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He makes this form so accessible! PS The cold’s been a bit much for me this year as well! I do, however, take great joy in watching the kids run around at recess in all their layers. Even with a feels like temp of 10˚F or less, they are happy as larks!
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Love your “punking” Molly — AND Padraig’s pantoum prompts!
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His prompt is such an accessible entry point into this form!
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I love the vivid images of the blue birds against white snow, and of the writer’s pen, stumbling and starting.
As my daughters would say, “It’s a mood.” 🙂
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I love that you picked up on the mood. 🙂
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Molly, this is gorgeous. I too loved that instruction to punk up some of the lines. My notebook has some pantoum fits and starts after O’Touma, too. But, all the winter lines in this poem work so well together the cold feeling near the window, the firewood, the bluebirds. This poem is painterly…so pretty. Thank you for getting back to PF. I needed this beauty today.
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Thanks so much, Linda. For all its challenges, winter does speak to me. I’m glad you enjoyed its words. It felt good to post again after my mini unintended hiatus.
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Your lines just seem to flow without hesitation, Molly. Pantoums can sometimes feel daunting, but O’Touma’s instructions and your example make it feel like a doable form. Thank you.
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Thanks, Rose. His instructions make all the difference!
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With 18″ of snow acoming, the stack of firewood is getting low seems problematic. Do you have a backup plan? Fortunately, we have no neighbors watching our place.
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That stack of firewood is the one in the house. We still have plenty outside and warm ourselves up by fetching more daily! Enjoy your warmth!
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That turned out so well, Molly! I really like it. The passage of time is so graceful.
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Thanks, Tabatha. I felt like it captured the mood I wanted. I so appreciate Pádraig Ó Tuama!
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I agree with Rose. Your beautiful pantoum makes me want to try tackling this form. I like the idea of playing with the lines after you arrange them.
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It was nice to be encouraged to play with the lines! I hope you give it a try. It really is fun to see how it all comes together when you follow Pádraig Ó Tuama’s guidelines.
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This is a beautiful winter poem. I like that it includes the poet, too, with her pen. I was in Arizona on Jan. 1, so I have a good bird for the year: a Eurasian collared dove.
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Oh! I’ve never even heard of a Eurasian collared dove! Now I’m off to look one up!
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Got your blog in my inbox, Molly, and liked yours so much I had to go make my own. It is not about nature. Okay, it is about human nature…
The Magic Number
I’m narrowing down, always narrowing down,
when my instinct is abundance and greed—
how many scarves, how many tablecloths?
How much is too much to wrap me in joy?
My instinct is abundance and greed—
unlimited earrings? unlimited books?
how much is too much to wrap me in joy,
someone un naturally good at math?
Unlimited earrings? unlimited books?
I spend so much time subtracting, subtracting.
As someone un naturally good at math
I crave loop and spread, dangle and spine.
I spend so much time adding, subtracting
how many scarves? how many tablecloths?
I crave loop and spread, dangle and spine—yet
I’m narrowing down, always narrowing down.
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I love this, Heidi and I can really relate to it! I especially like the line, “I crave loop and spread, dangle and spine.” You have such a gift with words!!
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Heidi and Molly, I love that line too. Fun synecdoche there. Congratulations on tackling this age-old human nature problem!
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I didn’t know you had shared, Molly, until I came back to see Mary Lee’s. This is so nicely shown, that early morning, I expect alone & watching, your thoughts fluttering like the birds! I miss the bluebirds when I lived in Missouri. We only see them in the mountains here. Thanks for the instructions, will try to find time to try it! Keep cozy!
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I was late to the party :), and I’m glad you found me. I hope you do try writing a pantoum, Linda! Pádraig’s instructions make it so much more doable!
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Molly, the feeling of missing out… “I forgot…” is universal & yet these repetitive lines of the pantoum gone a bit slant, bring us to feel our own wistful forgettings, so soon in this new year, juxtaposed against soothing blue birds – not enough to fluff joy into the watcher… until I feel later. As you reread your poem, as I feel it flow to me, I see the blue bounty feeding your bird feeder, meanng look for bounty that is all around, while I /we obsess on what “I forgot”
Appreciations for this beautiful New Year’s morning moment & it’s teaching.
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Thank you so much for the lovely, thoughtful comment! New Years are funny things–full of wishes, regrets, and intentions.
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I tried a pantoumish poem today too. Not sure how poemish it is; more like my notes during a talk I heard by James Talarico.
A Pantoumish poem after listening to James Talarico
The worship of power in the name of Christ is
Christian Nationalism, our country’s shame–
It translates to guns and ceding to a strong man.
How about, “Do not Judge” in every courtroom?
Christian Nationalism, our country’s shame
“Turn the other cheek” in the pentagon?
“Do not Judge” in every courtroom across the land?
“Easier for a camel than a rich man” on Wall Street?
“Turn the other cheek” in the pentagon? No war?
“The love of money is the root of all evil” in the boardroom?
“Easier for a camel than a rich man” on Wall Street? No,
Christian Nationalists don’t want a Christian nation.
“The love of money is the root of all evil”? Not for them–
“Give us guns and a strong man,” they say.
Christian Nationalists don’t want a Christian nation;
They want the worship of power in the name of Christ.
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Thank you for sharing, Denise. This is a powerful poem and so filled with raw, heartfelt emotion.
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Oooh, a new poetic challenge to take on!
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I do hope you give it a try!
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