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SOLC Day 17: Weed or Flower?

March 2024 SOLC–Day 17
A huge thank you to Two Writing Teachers for all that they do to create an amazing community of writers and a safe, welcoming space to write, learn, share and grow.
http://www.twowritingteachers.org

For six or seven years now, I’ve submitted a few poems to a weekly column in the Maine Sunday Telegram. This column, entitled Deep Water, highlights poems about Maine or by Maine writers or publishers. Every year I’ve received my rejection letter encouraging me to try again. And I do.

Many years ago, after reading Stephen King’s “On Writing”, I began celebrating my rejections, as evidence of my effort and the tenacity of repeated submission. My husband has learned to say “Congratulations!” whenever I mention a rejection. My writing group does this, too. In fact, one of them just shared a great, related article this week.

As I was writing this post, it occurred to me that a rejected poem or piece of writing is a lot like a weed. It’s just a flower growing in the wrong place. Who said that anyway? It turns out that a lot of people have claimed this line, or a close variation of it, but most often it’s attributed to George Washington Carver. While checking that out on Google, I found another pertinent quote.

All of my rejected poems are rather like a bouquet of weeds. A rejection doesn’t fundamentally change them, or make them unworthy. It might simply mean they weren’t in the right place at the right time. It’s someone’s judgement at that moment and in that context. Just think of the “lowly” dandelion, that master of tenacity! Some people spend hours trying to obliterate them from their yard, yet, drooping and bedraggled in the generous fist of a child, they are transformed into a treasured gift. To a bee, a dandelion is manna. To a pristine lawn lover, a persistent invader. To a photographer, a fascinating subject. Same flower, different judgements.

So, last June, I received a letter informing me that one of my submitted poems to “Deep Water” had been accepted and would be published on March 17th. I was over the moon. But bear in mind, this poem had already been rejected as a weed elsewhere. This time, apparently it landed in the right place, at the right time. The same exact weed was suddenly deemed a flower.

I’m sharing this poem here, because I am delighted it was accepted. It is a heady pleasure to have someone else judge your work as worthy. Still, going forward, I’ve decided to combine my rejections and acceptances in a larger bouquet. I like the look of it. Truth be told, when they’re all gathered together, it’s hard to tell the flowers from the weeds.

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SOLC Day 16: In need of a brain break

March 2024 SOLC–Day 16
A huge thank you to Two Writing Teachers for all that they do to create an amazing community of writers and a safe, welcoming space to write, learn, share and grow.
http://www.twowritingteachers.org

I have tons of things I could write about today–peaceful moments, funny ones, two very different walks, lots of photos, and more. It seemed like there were readily slice-able moments all day long! But I’ve been putting off writing all day, and I still really, really, really don’t feel like writing (which is highly unusual.) So, I’m yielding. I’m going to go pour myself a glass of red wine and read a book by the fire. I think after 15 days of slicing and masses of PD this week on top of our regular school schedule, I just need a brain break.

There once was a slicer who thought
about writing her blog, but had nought.
Neurons wouldn’t fire
her thoughts to inspire.
She was in a bit of a tough spot.

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SOLC Day 15: One Bold Decision Set the Tone

March 2024 SOLC–Day 15
A huge thank you to Two Writing Teachers for all that they do to create an amazing community of writers and a safe, welcoming space to write, learn, share and grow.
http://www.twowritingteachers.org

Should I? I hestitated. Would I regret it later? Was this premature?

After a few minutes of indecision, I opted to firmly step in to the Land of Optimism and went for it. It was March in Maine with a forecast for a sunny day with temps in the high 40s or low 50s. Time to show some skin! Decision made, I was all over it and feeling pretty sassy about it, too. It was a bold move, and I think it might have set the tone for the whole day:

Yesterday, I wore pants… with sneakers…and NO socks!

Yup, I was sporting naked ankles.

Then, while eating my Cheerios and granola, I suddenly decided that I wanted to show a little gratitude to my amazing teammates. After some thought, I decided I could get to the grocery store at 7 am and still be at school before 7:30. I slowed down my morning to get the timing just right. I hit the store at opening and came back out with cheerful yellow begonias and salted caramel dark chocolate bars in hand. I was back in my car and on the way to school in no time. Driving in, I watched the sun rise and bopped along to the music on the radio. My spirits were locked into happy!

I momentarily pondered what was causing this unusually good mood. Maybe because it was a relatively chill day ahead at school? Maybe it was because it was a fake Friday, with a PD day today, which meant a night with no planning? Or maybe Daylight Savings isn’t totally evil and the increased sun and activity at the end of the past few days was having a positive effect? Whatever the reason, I decided to ride the wave. I felt great and it was going to be a super day!

I got to work later than usual, dropping off the spontaneous gifts on my colleagues’ desks on the way in. Once in my classroom, I reached into my bag to pull out my computer, ready to get to work.

Whoa! What?

My computer was hot! I mean hot! hot! Really hot!

Oh no! This can’t be good!

I pulled it out of the case and opened it.

Nothing happened.

I pushed a few buttons hopefully. Then a little more forecefully.

Waited.

Waited.

Waited.

Nothing happened. The screen remained ominously dark.

What happened?!? I just used it before I left for school! … deep breath…Ok, I’ll just close it for a minute and do a couple of other things and then check back.

So, I bustled about writing my morning message, changing the date, etc. Amazingly, although I was concerned, I was not freaking out. The mood was a little shaky but holding!

Eventually, after some more opening and closing and button pushing, I had to concede my computer was not going to turn on without either divine intervention or at least the assistance of our Amazing Tech Guy. I called him and when he didn’t pick up, I left a pleading message. After a little while, I hunted him down.

Our Amazing Tech Guy was able to get my computer on, but wanted to migrate all my files, etc. from my relatively old (and definitely worrisome) computer to a new one. I agreed to leave my computer with him for the day, but wanted to check my e-mail and the morning message from the office first. I scrolled through quickly noting messages/reminders and who was out and who had subs for meetings.

What?!

There was my name listed for an IEP in the afternoon.

I don’t have an IEP today! My thoughts scrambled.

Oh, no! Did I? I knew I had one coming up…and it was on a Thursday…could I have gotten the date wrong?

My good mood was starting to bruise a bit. It had honestly been given quite a work out already.

Thinking hard, I realized I was pretty sure my colleague, also named Molly, had mentioned having an IEP today. The office probably mixed up our names. Ridiculously, there are four staff members named Molly at my school. Ironically, the woman in charge of Morning News is one of them. A quick trip to the office confirmed the mistake.

Phew!

Pretty soon, I was back in my classroom with a back-up computer to use for the day, a plan to get a new computer, and my good mood relatively intact.

It even survived a lice visit later in the day.

I really think it all started with those naked ankles.

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SOLC Day 14: Vignettes from the Classroom

March 2024 SOLC–Day 14
A huge thank you to Two Writing Teachers for all that they do to create an amazing community of writers and a safe, welcoming space to write, learn, share and grow.
http://www.twowritingteachers.org

Vignette Number 1:
I leaned in close to check in with C. who was engrossed in his book, Ricky Ricotta’s Mighty Robot.

“So, have you figured out what the problem is yet?” I asked.

“Yes,” he replied, “Dr. Stinky is trying to destroy the city.”

He suddenly paused, as if struck with an idea, then continued, “Wait! Maybe Dr. Stinky was bullied as a child… and that’s why he was trying to destroy the city!”

Vignette #2:
At the end of the day K. approached me as I was watching the computer for dismissals.

“Mrs. Hogan, do you want me to show you the chicken dance?”

“Sure!” I turned away from the computer to watch.

K. took a step or two backward, paused and took a dramatic deep breath. Then he scratched one foot on the ground. Then he scratched his other foot on the ground. Next, he bobbed his head back and forth a few times. He stopped moving and grinned at me.

“Wow, K. Did you learn that from someone, or did you make it up?”

“Oh, I made it up,” he stated proudly. Then he strutted away.

Vignette 3:
This last one isn’t my story, but it’s just too sweet not to share.

A colleague was walking down the hall and saw a first grader standing outside of an empty classroom looking a bit lost.

“Do you need some help?” she asked her.

“Yes, I’m looking for my soulmates.”

“Do you mean your classmates?” asked my colleague.

“Yes.”

Teaching elementary school offers so many sweet rewards!

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SOLC Day 13: To go, or not to go, that is the question

March 2024 SOLC–Day 13
A huge thank you to Two Writing Teachers for all that they do to create an amazing community of writers and a safe, welcoming space to write, learn, share and grow.
http://www.twowritingteachers.org

The question arose early in the day.

Should I go or not?

Last week I had started an exercise class on Tuesdays and Thursdays from. 5:30-6:30 pm. Somehow it was Tuesday already. Funny how that happens.

I relatively enjoyed the class last Tuesday, and actually felt good after going. I had totally planned on going again. The problem was that after exercising on both Tuesday and Thursday night last week, I couldn’t sleep. At all. Before starting the class, I had dimly remembered that exercising in the evenings had been a problem for me in the past, but hadn’t thought too much about it. Until dragging myself through last Wednesday and Friday. I’d already started investigating alternative classes at other local YMCA’s, but hadn’t found the perfect fix yet.

Now, two days into Daylight Savings Hangover Time, I was already exhausted. The thought of adding a night of restless sleep to that mix was daunting, especially if I could possibly avoid it. I have enough problems with interrupted sleep already!

So, when I stepped outside into a beautiful, albeit blustery, afternoon, I texted Kurt:

Isn’t he cute? 

Anyway, the whole way home I debated–Should I go to class or walk? Will I still walk if Kurt doesn’t want to? Am I just rationalizing to avoid the class? (I am very, very good at talking myself into or out of something.) How do I know if I’m  making a reasonable choice or just avoiding something that I don’t feel motivated to do?

I started thinking in bullet points:
If I go to class…

  • I’ll be developing that habit.
  • I’ll feel good about going. 
  • I’ll be doing some weight bearing exercise.
  • The instructor will know I’m not a quitter. (I  know, this is so ridiculous, but I did think along those lines.)
  • I may very well not sleep well. ACK!

If I walk instead…

  • I’ll spend time outside, and it is lovely out.
  • I’ll spend time with Kurt (even if he is a jerk– lol)
  • I’ll still get exercise.
  • I’ll hopefully be able to sleep.
  • I will have an extra 45 minutes of time that won’t be spent driving to and from class.
  • Oh, by not driving, I won’t pollute as much. (I realized I was starting to reach here.)

By the time I got home, I was totally unsure if I was rationalizing or not, but I had decided to go walking instead of going to class. 

Happily, Kurt joined me and we went for a brisk 3 mile walk down to the river and back. 

I’m still not sure if it was the best choice or not, but I mostly feel good about it. 

I’m still wondering how to determine if I’m  making excuses or good arguments. (Any tips?)

And I still don’t know if I’m going to class this Thursday or not. 

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SOLC Day 12: Celebrating characters on and off the page

March 2024 SOLC–Day 12
A huge thank you to Two Writing Teachers for all that they do to create an amazing community of writers and a safe, welcoming space to write, learn, share and grow.
http://www.twowritingteachers.org

Yesterday in my second grade class, students were celebrating their fiction reading by creating posters of favorite characters they’d met during their reading travels. They had a number of items to include on their posters, but were delighted by the illustration portion of the assignment. The class was totally immersed in the project, and there was a happy little buzz about the room. Everyone was taking their time and doing their very best.

One student, C., was working slowly and carefully on his depiction of Franny K. Stein. He had four books from the series in front of him and looked back and forth between them. One time as I walked by, I saw him frowning and heard him mutter, “One of her pony tails is longer than the other.” Then he carefully erased and redrew it.

As students began to finish up, they roamed about checking out each other’s work. Before long, I noticed a small crowd had gathered around C, who was still working steadily. A voice suddenly piped up.

“C, that’s really good!”

“Wow, C! That looks just like Franny!”

“Oh my gosh! That’s so good!” another classmate enthused.

Drawn by the comments, J. popped over to take a look. He’s a bit of a whirling dervish– lots of action, good-natured silliness and impulsivity. When he saw C’s picture, he stopped in his tracks. His mouth dropped open and he proclaimed, reverently and slowly, “I would remove the Mona Lisa to put that picture in!”

Other students nodded along. C. basked in the glow of all the compliments.

Later, I saw C carefully slide his completed work on top of the other finished pieces in the bin. His gaze lingered on his illustration, and I thought he might be admiring his efforts again. Then, he cocked his head to the side, bent down to look a little closer, and under his breath muttered, “She looks like she’s got a Donald Trump tan.”

I fully anticipated that this project would be engaging, but I really didn’t expect it to be so amusing along the way!

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SOLC Day 11: Seeding Joy

March 2024 SOLC–Day 11
A huge thank you to Two Writing Teachers for all that they do to create an amazing community of writers and a safe, welcoming space to write, learn, share and grow.
http://www.twowritingteachers.org

Outside the window, the birds fluttered and flapped from tree to ground to bush and around the feeders. Their songs and occasional squabbles filled the air. I stood by the window, amazed by the level of activity, listening, watching, and feeling my spirits inevitably lift.

Why were there so many of them?

My mind went back to the previous night’s blustery, cold, last-minute filling of the many bird feeders. Oh, yeah… What a lovely reward I’d reaped for following through, albeit quite reluctantly, on that task.

“You’ve got to seed your joy,” I thought, looking through the window, enjoying the fruits of my small effort, and my small word play. Happily, the birds were able to enjoy it as well. A pleasure shared is a pleasure doubled, right?

That phrase “seed your joy” has been lingering in my mind ever since. I know firsthand that small pleasures can sing and their effect can linger. A smudgy, grubby microwave finally cleaned, a gritty stairway vacuumed, or some fresh flowers placed on the table require minimal effort, but bring me a flash of pleasure every time I look at them. A letter written, a phone call made, or yes, bird feeders filled, spread the joy a bit further afield.

So, I’ve been pondering. What other small things can I do? What seeds can I plant today for myself and others that will eventually yield a small crop of future joy?

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SOLC Day 10: Merlin works magic!

March 2024 SOLC–Day 10
A huge thank you to Two Writing Teachers for all that they do to create an amazing community of writers and a safe, welcoming space to write, learn, share and grow.
http://www.twowritingteachers.org

What was that?

On my way to dumping out the compost, I stopped to listen. There it was again–some sort of bird call, but one that I didn’t recognize. 

I am not very good at recognizing bird calls. Or music. Or sounds in general. I think it’s an auditory issue of some sort. I’m really, really bad at it, even when I try. I am not exaggerating. My husband loves to quiz me with songs and musicians.

“Who’s that singing?” he’ll ask.

When I inevitably give up, he’s aghast. “How can you not recognize Mick Jagger’s voice?”

At any rate, maybe a few years ago, someone told me about the Merlin app. If you like birds and don’t know this app, check it out right now. It’s free and amazing! I only dip into the sound recordings to help me identify birds by their calls, but there’s tons more to investigate. Just the sound-recording identification feature alone is game changing.

Yesterday, I went back inside to grab my phone, wanting to use Merlin to identify the unusual call. Of course, when I came back outside, all the birds had vanished, and there was nothing to hear. I looked around. Nothing moved. I waited a few minutes. Finally I heard a far-off call, though not the same one. Still, I turned on the app. 

Bit by bit, as I stood there, the backyard came alive with bird song and flight. I listened and watched. As I heard each call, it appeared on my screen.

I do know many birds by sight and I can recognize chickadees, robins, titmice, the jays, gold finches, a variety of woodpeckers, the crows, the cardinals, and many more. I’m still fuzzy on house finch versus purple finch, and my hawk identification is pretty limited, but I’m getting better. Using the app really helps. I can use the sound identification and link it to the bird.

On this particular morning there were some surprise visitors, even though they remained unseen. I’ve learned to trust this app. If it says the bird is there, it usually is. 

I was delighted to see brown creeper pop up on my screen. I love these small brown birds with their curved beaks. I don’t know their call, but I do know them when I see them. They are year round residents, and expert camouflagers. They move up the trunks of trees, scouting for bugs, and then always fly along to land low on another trunk and begin another upward climb. I scanned the tree trunks. I still didn’t see a creeper, but was excited to know they were around. 

As I listened, I found myself looking through the trees, trying to find the bird that matched the call. Hoping this time the call and the bird would stick in my mind. 

Having spent more and more time bird watching, I don’t always need the app. Some calls are quite easy to recognize. When I heard the geese, I immediately scanned the sky until I spotted them flying overhead. I have also finally learned to recognize the distinctive call of the white-throated sparrow. The confirmation on screen always makes me smile though. Got it!

Then a few surprises appeared.

Screenshot

A brown headed cowbird! A pine siskin! A yellow-rumped warbler! Merlin has icons that tell you if a species is rare (red dot) or uncommon (orange semi-circle) for your current location and date. All of these species were marked, yet I hadn’t heard (or recognized the call of) any of these. I had no idea they were around. Pine siskins are more apt to appear in midcoast Maine from fall to spring. Yellow-rumped warblers are some of the first spring songbird migrants, and cowbirds also return in the spring to breed. Their juxtaposition confirmed what I’ve noticed lately. There’s change in the air!

I stood on the back porch for 10-15 minutes, every so often glancing at the phone in my hand, listening to and watching the birds. It was such a delightful interlude.

It’s so easy to miss things when you don’t stop to pay attention. 

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SOLC Day 9: Feeling Nostalgic

March 2024 SOLC–Day 9
A huge thank you to Two Writing Teachers for all that they do to create an amazing community of writers and a safe, welcoming space to write, learn, share and grow.
http://www.twowritingteachers.org

My youngest daughter loved to sleep in our bed. As she got older, my husband and I used to worry about it. Should we say “No”? Is she too old? Eventually, we fell back on that age old wisdom, “Well, she’s not going to be sleeping in our bed forever.” As the time between her nighttime visits stretched out, I began to wonder each time, Will this be the last time?, and then I didn’t mind the extra limbs and limited space so much.

Winter is still here, but you can feel it loosening its grip. It’s been tame this season, and I’ve missed the winter scenery–the geometry of ice on the river, snow covered fields, the fleeting, deep blue that lingers within mounds of snow.

Over the past week or so, I’ve found eyes lingering on the trees. I love to see them snow-dusted after a storm, but even without the snow, I adore the network of bare branches visible in the winter. It’s only in recent years that I’ve come to recognize that I actually prefer the winter version of trees. They hint at the symmetry of roots underground, frame the sky, and reveal the birds. Their interlocking branches feel both stark and majestic. I know those limbs will disappear soon, gradually hidden by the spring growth of lush green leaves.

I’m nostalgic today, I guess, missing things that are long gone, and missing other things before they’ve even gone. My daughter is 26 now and it’s been a long, long time since she slept in our bed. Ultimately, we didn’t even notice when that last time happened. And now, even while my eyes linger on those glorious winter trees, I’m recognizing their transience, already missing them.

It’s so difficult to recognize a last time while it’s happening. As I get older, I’m more and more aware of the fleeting nature of everything. I know that “last times” are approaching, or perhaps even passing me by right now, unnoticed until later.

I’m trying to think of this increased awareness as a gift, a reminder to appreciate things while we still have them, while they’re still here.

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SOLC Day 8: Boot Camp

March 2024 SOLC–Day 8
A huge thank you to Two Writing Teachers for all that they do to create an amazing community of writers and a safe, welcoming space to write, learn, share and grow.
http://www.twowritingteachers.org
This post is also for this week’s Poetry Friday.

If you read my post yesterday, you might be wondering if I went to Boot Camp last night or not. Here’s an update…

I get home from school determined to go to Boot Camp, though I do NOT want to do it. Not AT ALL. I am bone tired, physically, but also just so tired of rushing. I want a night where I don’t have to do anything, for at least a little while. Outside, it’s cold and rainy. Inside, the chair beckons. The wood stove beckons. I give in to the lures for just a moment, curl up on the chair, and within moments, fall fast asleep.

I wake up a little bit later and immediately look at my watch.

“Phew! I didn’t miss Boot Camp!” said no one in my house.

With incredible effort and stunning discipline, I overcome the forces of inertia and propel myself into exercise clothes and out the door, whining all the way.

At the Y, before class starts, everyone is throwing around the “f” word.

“We’re going to do centers tonight and you’re going to work really hard!” the instructor says. 

“Fun!” someone replies enthusiastically.

Fun? Huh. That’s not the f word that came to my mind.

“We’ll get the music going and really get into it. You’re going to leave it all out there!” 

“Fun!” someone else chirps happily.

If you’re a fan of the move, “The Princess Bride”, you’ll understand that after a few more “Fun’s”, it was really hard not to say, “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” 

Soon enough, the instructor has explained all the stations, and we’re off.

I start with jump roping. I quickly get tired. Keep going! Just distract yourself. Think about something else… I often try to write poetry when insomnia strikes, but I’m pretty sure I can’t compose while bouncing. Just pick a word and rhyme. (Please bear in mind that I’m feeling overwhelmed at this whole exercise Boot Camp thing, so I have to do something to keep going.)

rope
scope
hope 
dope 
dope 
DOPE 
bope? 

BEEP! Next station.

I stumble to the next station, some sort of stair torture.

I recognize that I might be having a less than stellar mindset and try to turn off the negativity.

Come on, Molly. I tell myself in my best cheerleader voice. You can do this. Just try.

try
fly
die 

Ohhhhkay, maybe choose another word. 

The instructor’s voice rises over the music, “If you need to stop and catch your breath, that’s okay.”

Breath, I think, panting heavily and trying to catch mine. Good word. 

breath
death

Okay, maybe this rhyme thing isn’t working so well.  I stop rhyming and try to focus on my form at the current station, but before I know it, I’m rhyming again.

“Finish strong!”

strong 
long
wrong
wrong 
WRONG!

BEEP! 

“Next station!”

I’m now doing something called Crawling Bear. At least I think that’s what the instructor called it. I am literally on my hands and feet with my butt stuck up in the air, scuttling around a marked path. (I’d describe it some more, but you really don’t want to do too much envisioning here.) 

My rhyme brain and negativity decide to join forces.  

What rhymes with suck?

Oh!!! The f word!

So, I repeat that one over and over and over in my head until…

BEEP! 

“Next station!”

And so it goes. 

Eventually it ends. And I did it all. More or less.

On the way home I compose a limerick in honor of the occasion (and so that I could technically link this post to Poetry Friday lol). 

There once was a foolish old lass
who started an exercise class
Her thighs were a-quakin’
her biceps a shakin’
‘Twas all a big pain in her a*s!

If you’re interested in checking out some much more meaningful rhyming and poetry, head over to Laura Purdie Salas’s blog. She’s hosting Poetry Friday and celebrating the launch of her newest book, “Oskar’s Voyage”. You’ll find some fascinating tidbits on the book’s creation, especially how it moved from prose to poetry.