It all started with my icy driveway…



One day last week, as I was rushing around getting ready to leave for school, I glanced out the window. The sunrise was reflecting beautifully off my steep driveway. Ugh! Once again the recent weather had transformed it into a sheet of glistening ice. With our 4WD and AWD cars, we can make it up the hill, but no other vehicles can–including the oil company’s delivery truck, a sadly common and vital visitor these days.

On my way into the bathroom, I grabbed my phone and quickly texted our plow guy:

unnamed (1)

I set the phone down, completed my bathroom business and then grabbed it and headed out to the family room to continue packing up my stuff. I glanced at the phone and saw a response.

Version 2

Hmmmm…What’s that? It looks like an audio file. Is he responding to me with a voice message? 

I clicked on the play icon. Faint whooshing and rumbling sounds emerged.

Is he in his truck?  I set the phone down and grabbed my books and papers, intent on stuffing them into my over-flowing tote and getting out the door.

Why isn’t he talking? 

I continued to pack up and listen to the whooshing sounds.

This is odd. Can you butt dial an audio? 

Brush. Brush. Brush. Tap. Tap. Tap.

Now, that sounds like he’s brushing his teeth. I just brushed my teeth, too. We must be on a similar schedule. 

Step. Creak. Step. Creak.

Hmmm…His floor is as creaky as ours is! 

A millisecond later the mental audio dots connected to form a very ugly picture….

OMG! I was just brushing my teeth on a creaky old floor! He wasn’t!

I pushed the stop button on the file and stared aghast at my phone. The audio was me…in the bathroom! How did I even do that?? What exactly had I recorded? 

And then my plow guy’s words appeared:

Version 3

My thoughts raced. Has he listened to it yet? OMG, what else did I do in the bathroom? Did I say anything??? Did I brush my teeth before or after….The first raised audio “spikes” must be me tapping my toothbrush. But what is that second group of audio spikes???  AAHHHHHH!

Increasingly horrified, I stared at my phone. How did I even make that recording? Is there any way to delete it? Suddenly, I noticed a small blue button beneath the file:  “Keep.” Oh, thank goodness. I can just keep this. I felt a surge of relief and quickly clicked on the button.


Uh. oh.

In an instant a notice appeared on my screen–Delivered.

Oh, dear God! I just sent it!!! Quickly, in a panic,I typed,

Version 5

Screen Shot 2018-01-28 at 8.09.32 AM

He never responded, and I just couldn’t bring myself to listen to the rest of the recording. Fingers crossed that he didn’t either!



13 thoughts on “It all started with my icy driveway…

  1. margaretsmn says:

    This is hilarious! I hope you made it out of your driveway. When we had our big ice event, no one knew how to handle it. There were numerous mishaps and accidents. I can’t imagine how you in the north go about your life in these situations.

    Liked by 1 person

    • mbhmaine says:

      Unfortunately our driveway is a constant issue in the winter. I can always get down my driveway–it’s just a matter of whether I slide out into the street or not.


  2. Dana says:

    Well, you are trying to Nix the Comfort Zone… nice progress!
    Now, you need to not care whether he actually heard your bathroom recording and channel your inner “sherryschneider”. That’s when you approach mastery.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Fran Haley says:

    What a truly fun, well-captured moment of horror -! I take it you are laughing it off now … who knows, maybe he heard it but needed to hear it after someone left an irate message. Think of it as brightening someone’s day. A kindness, even. And to me the icy driveway photo is stunningly beautiful.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. elsie says:

    Oh my! I know you were mortified, but it is quite funny. Note to self, never take phone into bathroom.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Amy Warntz says:

    Such a good laugh you gave me this morning! I’ve been there too in some way or another. Gotta love technology. Of course, I love the your photography. Your phone didn’t fail you there!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. dmsherriff says:

    THAT is absolutely hysterical! You captured the the dread and confusion perfectly. The moment of realization when you realized it was your creaky floors -” OMG! I was just brushing my teeth on a creaky old floor! He wasn’t!” Fabulous! Thanks for the laugh and thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. What a riot! So glad you found the humor in this and shared it with us! BTW, I love the photo of your driveway, even though it looks treacherous.

    Liked by 1 person

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