I’m not sure what got into me yesterday, but I started cleaning out the upstairs linen closet. I pulled everything out into a jumbled pile of flannel and cotton and began matching up sets like pairs of socks. After a while, just like with socks, it became evident there were some incomplete sets. I decided to check the seldom-used downstairs linen closet.
Once I got started down there, I began wreaking havoc, pulling out sheets willy-nilly, triumphantly making a stack of the items to complete the upstairs sets. It was all going beautifully until I yanked on a sheet and a small yellowish item rolled across the wooden shelf.
What’s that? I wondered. I picked it up and brought it closer to my face to peer at it. Recognition hit quickly and unpleasantly. Ew! It’s a mouse head! (Well, to be more precise, a mouse skull.) How long has that been here?!?
“Ewwwww! Kurt, there’s a mouse skull in the cupboard,” I called into the living room.
“Did you hear me?” I asked.
“Yeah,” he grunted again.
Gingerly I pulled out a few more linens, realizing that laundry with hot water was going to the top of my to-do list. Then, nestled next to the striped twin sheet set, there it was–the rest of the body. A complete skeleton with long tail. Intact (other than the head/skull). In my linen cupboard.
“Kurt, there’s a complete skeleton in the closet.”
“A complete skeleton!” I repeated. “There’s an entirely complete skeleton in the closet!”
“Yeah, a Halloween one, right?” he asked.
What?! Clearly the man does not listen to me.
“No! It’s an entire mouse skeleton–right in the sheets!”
“Oh,” he said again, thoroughly unimpressed. “I thought there was one of those Halloween skeletons in there.”
What the heck is he talking about?
“How long has it been there?” I wondered aloud. “I mean I don’t mind the occasional skeleton under the stove or in the wall, but this is pretty disgusting.”
“We live in an old house, ” he said. “It happens.”
“I don’t know. I think maybe we need to clean more,” I announced. He laughed and laughed and laughed.
Looking for a different reaction, I snapped a quick photo to send to my neat-freakish sister. I prefaced it with this comment: “So, I was cleaning out the linen closets–matching sheets, etc…And I think maybe I need to do this more often…Because this…”
But, when it comes down to it, public embarrassment vs. a slice topic. Well, duh! That’s a no brainer!