SOLC Day 22: Currently…

March 2023 SOLC–Day 22
A huge thank you to Two Writing Teachers for all that they do to create an amazing community of writers and a safe, welcoming space to write, learn, share and grow.
http://www.twowritingteachers.org

Currently, It’s 7:46 pm. I have had 12 Parent-Teacher conferences in the past two days, tucked in before and after full school days. I have four more tomorrow. And although I know I’m fortunate to only have 16 conferences total, I am tired. I’m also not 100% sure my day is thoroughly planned for tomorrow. (Actually I’m 100% sure that it is not.) Nor am I 100% sure how I am making it through three more days this week. 

I’m sitting here wondering what to write for my slice. I’m pointedly not looking at the large, flat box to my right. The one with two prints in it. The one that I special ordered this past weekend so that it would be here in time for the photography contest. The one I don’t want to open in case the pictures didn’t translate well to their enlarged printed form. 

Currently, I’m berating myself for cowardice. I love taking pictures but I don’t know enough about the digital/tech. stuff. So playing around with the photos to get the right size, the right settings is a bit of a crap shoot. Even when I have someone to ask for help (Thanks, Ash!), I easily get frazzled. I didn’t even end up having my favorite photo printed, because I couldn’t get it to cooperate. The file was too big, then the print size I wanted altered it and cut off a key part. And I’d left it all too late, which amped up the frazzle. The few times I’ve gone through this process, I ultimately get to the F-it stage, throw up my hands, send in my order, cross my fingers, hope for the best. Then I worry. That pretty much sums up this past weekend.

Currently, the box remains sealed, and I’m thinking of winding down and heading to bed. As noted, I’m tired. And I’m just not sure I’m up to facing the photos right now. If they’re good, I’ll be relieved, but if they’re not good, I’ll be totally stressed. There’s no time for a fix, and nothing I can do about it tonight. I’m a big believer in putting off today what I can worry about tomorrow.

So, no surprise, I’m opting to stall. Apparently, the worry about possibly being more stressed trumps the possibility of being relieved. Somewhere in my mind, I know this isn’t a healthy way to approach this situation. I think I’m going to blame it on conferences. Anyway, I also know the box will still be here tomorrow morning…or even tomorrow afternoon. I’ll definitely have to open it then…

18 thoughts on “SOLC Day 22: Currently…

  1. aggiekesler says:

    You really relayed your stress and indecision well in this slice, but I wish you weren’t feeling this way. I hope your conferences go well, you get some rest, and the pictures are perfect!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. cindaroo42 says:

    I am totally with you.. the better not to know feeling can trump relief. Hang in there!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. lynnedorfman says:

    Well, I was cheering you on to open the box and keeping my fingers crossed that your prints were perfect! I hope you tell us in your next post. Wow! You have had a rigorous schedule. Does your school have any early dismissals for conference days?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. margaretsmn says:

    I’m on the sidelines saying “Open the Box!” I can’t put things like this off. I usually have it half opened by the time I get it inside. OK, you have to let us know what happens when you open the box.

    Liked by 1 person

    • mbhmaine says:

      You’re so funny. I dislike facing reality sometimes. Not always the best choice…anyway I did open the box this morning and at a quick glance, the pictures are fine–I can see some small things I would have fixed if I’d had more time, but they’re okay.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Yes, blame it on conferences! Next time you go back to the photograph have a cup of tea near by and say to yourself, I’m just going to play with this. It will come out fine. Relax and be playful. Stop beating yourself up. This is advice from someone who definitely has been there and done that!

    Liked by 1 person

    • mbhmaine says:

      Thanks! The problem was that the deadline for entering the photo contest was much sooner than I’d realized. Deadlines really can take the fun out of things! I do need and want to sit and play so I can learn more 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  6. TLC says:

    Totally get it- sometimes I’d rather not know than know it’s what I don’t want. Hopefully the conferences finish well and pictures are great and you call the week a success!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. humbleswede says:

    I loved this line because it sums up the way I act many times: “Apparently, the worry about possibly being more stressed trumps the possibility of being relieved.”
    I’ve used it to put off lots of uncertainties…even doctor’s appointments. That’s certainly not healthy! Sometimes, though, if it’s a temporary delay, it’s just that you know it’s not the right time to have to deal with the negative alternative, if it happened to transpire that way. You captured this decisive indecision really well.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. jaclynfre says:

    This conference schedule sounds like its begging for Union representation. 😆 There is nothing like a contest to stretch your confidence to its breaking point. I have had to make a couple videos of myself for applications and found the process filled me with excruciating self doubt. All the best with opening the box! Cheering from behind the screen!

    Liked by 1 person

    • mbhmaine says:

      Thanks for the good wishes! The pictures were okay–wish I’d edited out a blip, but I didn’t notice it when they were smaller. We’ll see what happens next!

      Like

  9. kd0602 says:

    Love that line…”I’m a big believer in putting off today what I can worry about tomorrow.” I hope the photos are wonderful! Are you entering them in a show of some sort? (You know how much I love your photos…)

    Liked by 1 person

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