March 2023 SOLC–Day 23
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We have Morning Meetings every day, and for the Share, I sometimes ask my students “Would you rather?” questions.
This morning I asked, “Would you rather go for a ride in a helicopter or in a submarine, and why?”
The first student earnestly replied, “I’d rather go in a submarine so I can’t fall and die.”
Several kids nodded their heads in agreement.
The next one said, ” I’d rather go in a helicopter because you’re less likely to drown. If there was a storm I could jump out in a parachute.”
“I’d go in a helicopter because in a submarine a sea animal could come and break the glass and water would get in and I’d drown.”
Again and again students responded with answers based on how they would be the safest, or at least less likely to get injured. Sure there were a couple who said things like, “I’d go in a submarine so I could see the wildlife and maybe have a pet fish”, but most answers were safety-based.
This is not the first time this year that I’ve heard these kind of answers.
A while ago I asked “Would you rather travel across the United States or sail around the world?”, and almost every student chose traveling across the United States so they didn’t drown. Or they just said it would be safer in some way or another. More recently, when I posed the question, “Would you rather live in a rectangular or circular house?” they mostly chose a triangular house, because “a house that is a circle might roll away in a bad storm.” Which brings us back to today’s responses.
I think about the past few years and the messages that have inundated these kids’ lives: “Wear your mask to stay safe.” “Don’t get too close so you stay safe.” “We can’t visit Grandpa, it isn’t safe.” ” Make sure to sanitize. We have to be safe.” and on and on and on. And while I understand and applaud the actions that promoted safety, I am becoming ever more concerned about the unintentional fallout.
I’ve been teaching almost fifteen years and these answers feel different. And disturbing. We’ve taught our children how to stay safe in these crazy times, but we seem to have also taught them that safety should be their primary concern when making any decision, and that every situation, even hypothetical ones, should be assessed for elements of danger. I worry about the impact of this and its ripple effect a lot. I want these kids to have big bold dreams. Sure, I want them to be safe, but I don’t want them to see the world and their lives and all their possibilities from a vantage of fear.
I’m not quite sure what to do about it, and it makes me so damn sad.
Nix the comfort zone 
Oh wow. What a realization. I haven’t noticed this but as I read I kept thinking of my own kids and the messages I’ve sent them. You’ve got me thinking.
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We certainly have been consistent with a message of “stay safe.” Maybe it’s just my cohort of kids, but I’m definitely tuned in to this now.
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I’ve seen this too, as well as a deterioration in social skills (isolation?) and now children who missed out on the therapies they should have had. We have lost a lot the last few years.
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I also think that the access of kids to electronics (which was also exacerbated by Covid) plays a role in all of this.
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I remember on the day of 9/11 when I realized our lives would never be the same. That day changed the way everyone thought about travel and safety. It was a sadness I couldn’t justify because in the face of such loss, who was I to worry about this? Covid did change us and in many ways we have yet to realize. Something to think about, but not much we can do about it.
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I’m trying to model positives of taking risks, certainly with learning, but also when we answer these hypothetical questions. Not sure it does much, but I’m not sure what else to do!
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This is interesting…and sad if it’s a trend. I haven’t noticed it as much as i’ve noticed a trend toward difficulty regulating. Lots of tears, lots of tantrums, more refusals. My hope is that it’s more of a blip than a trend, and we will come out on the other side eventually.
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I hope it’s not a trend and that maybe it’s just this group of kids. Still, I’m not sure how best to open them up to consider possibility rather than fear. My husband pointed out that I’m extremely tuned in to risk assessment (truth!), so I’m not sure I’m the best one for the job!
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I didn’t catch what grade you teach but I teach 2nd grade so my kids started kindergarten during the first school year of the pandemic in 2021. THis year is their first normal year. There have been a lot of challenges but I haven’t noticed them being overly concerned about safety. There are many other things that have been challenging though.
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I teach second grade as well. If you consider distancing and weekly Covid testing last year, then I guess this is our first “normal” year, too.
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OMG! I think you’re right to be. concerned. Add to the list of safety concerns active shooter drills and the messaging about those. For my generation it was drop and cover drills, but we didn’t have the constant barrage of safety messages. Kids have so much anxiety these days. They need to learn the difference between rational and irrational fears.
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The active shooter drills are awful. We live in times of such heightened anxiety. No wonder these kids are fearful. Unfortunately, anxiety is not rational or logical. 😦
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Heavy, heavy heart. But…. But… having worked with kids who came from not only neighborhoods that were violent, but homes, they live a survival mindset. We’ve trained this pandemic generation to think that way. And not without reason, but…..but
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I’m hoping for resilience.
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This is troubling. I think you’re right. Their formative years have been filled with “do this to stay safe/avoid this horrible thing”. How do we change their thinking, let them know they can take risks?
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That’s what I’m trying to figure out.
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Yep this is incredibly sad and you really made your point by sharing so many examples. Dream big… but actually don’t, it’s not safe. Sigh
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This is incredibly sad and you proved your point by sharing so many detailed examples. I guess we’re teaching dream big… but actually don’t because you won’t be safe. Sigh
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Sigh.
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I haven’t seen this in my classroom. I wonder what it would take for this group of children to feel safe?
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I wish I knew, but I’m glad to know your classroom is different.
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Oh I’m so sad – right along with you! I’ve noticed this too with the students I know. Full of anxiety – wanting safety – not taking risks. I keep hoping things will get back to “normal.” But increasingly I get the sense they won’t. However, when I witness them playing – there is that spirit again – that sense of adventure. Maybe we just need more PLAY!
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Oh, this is a good point! More play is always a good thing and there are definitely still feats of derring do on the playground!
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A great post to make us think. Certainly, covid has changed the way we think. “Don’t blow out the candles on your birthday cake” I have watched people wave to get the candles to go out or take them and place in a cup of water. Are they even stopping to make a birthday wish? It’s all about being safe, not spreading germs. Many of my friends will not eat in a restaurant until they offer outside dining again. Our news is filled with catastrophes – floods, earthquakes, shootings, and more. I really don’t know what the answer is.
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It’s a lot for us all to manage and as adults, theoretically at least, we have more skills and life experience to help us.
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Powerful piece! Got to be a wider audience for this wisdom. The news, in all its forms, is fear-based. It’s news because it’s unusual, but it comes across as the most likely scenario. I wonder if you could go around the circle with your 16 kids (what potential for learning with that class size with an amazing teacher (i.e. caring, bright, creative) a second time. Ask, “What would be a good thing that could come out of your choice?” What about bringing this up at faculty or grade-level meetings? This would engender a conversation of substance rather than many meetings that I’ve been to where the agenda could be handled by a memo!
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I really like your idea of going back around your circle to emphasize positive possibilities. That’s already how we work on framing our classroom expectations and goals–focusing on what we want rather than on what we don’t want. Thanks for this perspective! I’ll let you know how it goes!
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I sent your slice to a K-2 principal in Rochester, NY, an elementary 3-7 Spanish teacher in a Catholic School in Virginia, to our daughter Molly, a math specialist in an elementary school in Mass., and a former science teacher from Long Island. Our grandson 10 year old Owen (4th grade) said he’d pick the submarine because he would like to see all the continents.
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Yay, Owen!
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Wow–what a discovery! I haven’t noticed it so much with this class, but last year that might have been true. I hope it’s just a phase and they will come up with some different would you rather responses!
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It’s something I’m definitely keeping an eye on.
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Wow it is sad if children are becoming that safety conscious that it cuts across using their imagination and enjoyment of life.
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Yes. Very sad.
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