I’ve spent most of last weekend and the past week indoors, so I’ve been yearning to be out and about. I’d tentatively planned to drive down to the marsh this morning. I really needed to get out of my own frazzled mind. To lose myself in nature and photography.

Juniper, my cat, dutifully woke me at 4:30 am, so I could make it for sunrise if I was motivated and willing to forego my morning writing. But still I hesitated. It’s a 45 minute drive down to the marsh which meant I’d be gone for about 2 1/2 – 3 hours. It was supposed to be cloudy, not partially cloudy, but full on cloudy. Also, there was a nasty blowing wind icon on the forecast, and when I checked, it said the wind chill was 20˚F. That wouldn’t be awful except that yesterday’s temperatures in the high 50s apparently drained my tolerance for even the thought of cold.

Not going anywhere sounded enticing. Relaxing.

But getting out sounded healthy. Rejuvenating.

I dithered.

Tick.
Tock.

Dithered some more.

Tick.
Tock.

As I turned over the pros and cons yet again, I glanced at my watch. Oops. I’d missed the window to make sunrise at the marsh. Well, that was one way to make a decision. Suddenly feeling more focused now that my options were limited, I decided to drive down into “town” to visit the river as a consolation prize.

And what a lovely prize it was!

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“I’m thinking of taking out a personal ad!” I announced in a rush as I blew in the door after work yesterday. “Have you ever written one? How do they go anyway?”

My husband, pretty secure after 30+ years of wedded bliss, just looked at me quizzically. I explained, laughing, that after continued frustration on-line, frantically trying to capture an elusive vaccine appointment (see yesterday’s blog), I’ve decided to change my approach. With this context, he was 100% on board and even helped with some abbreviations. (Thanks, Kurt!) Here’s the rough draft (regretfully revised to take out those abbreviations that cracked us up but might be a bit too provocative):

ISO Good Times With A BBV*!

I’m a 50-something MWF**. A bit frazzled these days, but at my best, I’m a fair amount of fun. I enjoy large gatherings, public transportation, and touching my face. Tired of the on-line scene and compulsive hand washing, I’m seeking a long-term relationship with a BBV*. Preferably not too hot. I’m not the type to discriminate. I will consider all offers, and I’m willing to travel to meet up. I’m hoping for hugs and hand-holding, mask-less walks on the beach, and maybe even some romantic, candlelight indoor dining! No need for casual conversation. I’m looking to add some adventure to my life! Let’s make a date! Soon!

So what do you think? 

*BBV=big beautiful vaccine
**MWF= married white female

Everyone’s talking about it and it’s hard to know exactly what’s true and what to do.

“I hear you can get on a wait list if you call directly.”

“They said on the news there won’t be as many doses available this week.”

“You have to log in at midnight to find new appointments.”

“I hear the school is going to send an e-mail with a link.”

This past weekend, the message from a friend came in early.

“Just scheduled both doses!”

“What!? Where? How’d you do it?”

“Walgreens. It refreshes at 7am. You have to make an account beforehand and get ready to go right at 7. Have a list of zip codes and be prepared to leave your area.” This was followed up by another quick message, “Oh…and enter lots of zip code options. You’ve got to be willing to travel.”

“OK. Thanks! I’ll try tomorrow.”

Next morning…7 am…it begins.

I log into the Walgreen’s site.

04008

“No appointments available within 25 miles of Bowdoinham, Maine for next three days.”

04011

“No appointments available within 25 miles of Brunswick, Maine for next three days.”

04101

“No appointments available within 25 miles of Portland, Maine for next three days.”

After attempting 5 or 6 more zip codes, I switch over to our local grocery store chain, Hannaford.

04008

“No appointments available within 50 miles of Bowdoinham, Maine.”

04011

“No appointments available within 50 miles of Brunswick, Maine.”

I keep at it, entering zip code after zip code with no success.

Then this happens:

What!? Are you kidding me?

This process is really taxing my recent effort to “keep it positive”.

Sigh.

There has to be a better way.

Here are three recent snippets from my classroom for your entertainment.

1. “Mrs. Hogan, you know what I just realized?” A. said.
   “What?”
   “I dress like a gender reveal!”
   “What!?” I asked, thoroughly confused. “What do you mean?”
   “Well,” she explained, beaming, “today I’m all in blue and yesterday I was all in pink. It’s like I’m a gender reveal!”

2. We’d just finished reading a Charles Waters poem that ended with the lines:
“Then Mom says the dreaded words
no kid should ever have to hear…
“”Wait till your father gets home.”

The kids in my class groaned in commiseration.

“Yeah, that’s the worst!”

“Oh, yeah! My mom always says that!”

Then R. piped up, “Yeah!” He paused. “Well, actually, no. My dad’s more like a butterfly. Not a scorpion.”

Another pause. Then…
“That’s my mom.” 

Ouch! Now that’s a stinger!

3. And finally, randomly in the middle of snack recently, M. called out, “And for today’s fun fact…teachers used to hit their students with rulers!” 

This was apropos to nothing at all–I swear!

There’s never a dull moment in fourth grade!

Just last week I saw this photo on my friend’s Facebook page:

I responded immediately:

This looked like an alien landscape to me. Flowers blooming? Bright colors!? BEES!? I almost felt the need to shield my eyes. Realizing that this was a current photo from Delaware–not some exotic locale–brought home to me how far from spring we still are here. Spring in Maine is just a bit more gritty and subtle than in other places. While others are celebrating new growth and warmer temperatures, we’re still entrenched in winter. Occasional wild temperature swings launch us into hope and then plunge us back down into cold bitter despair. This past week it was in the 40s on Monday and on Tuesday, the wind chill at recess was about 3˚ F. Truth.

It’s hard to be positive or to regard family and friend’s photos of new growth and blossoms as anything other than a slap in the face. Will spring ever arrive?

Then, on Friday, while driving to school, I noticed a couple of orange signs blossoming along the road. Oh, my inner optimist reasserted itself, Frost heave! This is looking promising! For the uninitiated, road upheaval, or frost heave, is a sure sign of changing temperatures and spring coming. (and spine jostling and car damage…but remember, I’m channeling my inner optimist here!)

Not too many miles later, I saw a pile of sad smashed porcupine alongside the road. While I truly did mourn the porcupine’s passing, I couldn’t help but think, “Oh, a porcupine! I haven’t seen one in ages. Spring must be coming!” (I really did think this!)

Also, the sun is getting noticeably warmer and the gritty snowy ice banks are melting. If you look just right, there’s even some beauty to be found there.

On a sweeter note, I’ve also seen sap buckets sprouting on the maple trees along our road. Soon the playground will show signs of spring as well — in fact, it thawed beautifully just the other day!

Before you know it, thin pale stalks of legs and delicate ankles will be visible, too! We’ll be arguing with kids about the need to wear a coat (Oh–wait–we’re already doing that!) and explaining that while temps in the 40s are worth celebrating, they don’t necessitate shorts wearing.

Signs of spring in Maine may be just a bit more gritty and subtle than in other places, but things are definitely looking up, if you just know where to look. Spring is definitely on its way!

I mentioned in a recent post that I’ve been allowing my brain to free range on the commute to school. Instead of listening to an audiobook or to the radio, I’ve been letting silence reign in the car. I find my mind moving all over the place, jumping from thing to thing to thing. Here are a few of the thoughts that popped into my mind on the way to work yesterday before school-related thoughts took over:

1. I really love spying hawks along the highway. I wonder how many I’ve driven past without seeing them. I wish I’d paid more attention to the birds over my life. I’m trying to make up for that these days.
   “Hi, Hawk!” I say aloud as a I pass one. I repeat it again shortly afterward when I pass another, admiring the long rays of the rising sun on his breast, adding, “Aren’t you a beauty!?”
2. Is it possible that the guy in that blue Honda doesn’t realize that he’s on tailgating the person in front of him? Maybe instead of being aggressive or in a hurry, he’s just spaced out. Maybe his brain is free ranging, too.
   OK. Now that guy over there in that red truck is just a total jerk. No two ways about it.
3. Do aggressive four square players become aggressive drivers? OMG, the thought of some of the current fourth graders as drivers is really, really frightening. I consider all the aggressive cherry bombing and my thoughts go straight to road rage. I make a concerted effort to change the direction of my thoughts.
4. I miss my sisters. I don’t even know how long it’s been since I’ve seen any of them. We Zoom weekly now but that’s not really seeing, and we haven’t breathed the same air in…1 1/2 or 2 …years? How can that be? I ask Siri to text my oldest sister, “I miss you!”
5. The sky is amazing this morning. Patches of gray clouds are purple lit from below. I love watching the evolution of the morning sky, but seldom spend time looking at the night sky. Why is that? The last few evenings, my daughter has come in from work at around 7, announcing, “The stars are gorgeous tonight!” I’d like to take time to look at the night sky. If only the wind would die down or the temperatures would rise. Somehow it feels exponentially colder to me when it’s dark outside. Is that a thing?
6. I remember reading a book that described the night sky as similar to sparks of light shining through a colander. The author said it much more poetically than that. I think it was in “Transatlantic” by Colum McCann. I need to reread that passage. Oh, I’m pretty sure I listened to it so that could be tricky. Maybe I can check it out when I go to the library tomorrow.
7. Could I write a poem that goes like this?:
   Once I read a book
   where the stars shone
   as if through a colander
   in the sky
   Now when I gaze
   heavenward
   all I can think about
   is spaghetti.
   
   This strikes me as incredibly humorous and I laugh out loud and quickly ask Siri to take a note so I don’t forget.
8. I spy the moon, pale in the morning sky, and it seems like it was just full and now it’s waning so quickly. Somehow that makes me feel a bit sad. I know for sure that space will always dizzy me with its numbers and entrance me with its glories. How do people make sense of these huge numbers anyway? This universe? I’m not sure I even want to try to understand it all. Is that a bad thing?

And so on and so on and so on….

Thanks for joining me on my free ranging commute. What do you think about on the way to work?