SOLC Day 17: We’re Expecting!

March 2021 SOLC–Day 17
A huge thank you to Two Writing Teachers for all that they do to create an amazing community of writers and a safe, welcoming space to write, learn, share and grow.
www.twowritingteachers.org

“There’s a woodpecker nesting in the tree above my office,” Kurt announced as he walked in. “I’ve seen it a bunch and it’s out there right now.”

“Really?! What kind?”

I think he answered me, but I’m not sure, as I’d already rushed outdoors, grabbing my camera as I went. I scanned the cluster of trees near his office, my eyes running swiftly up and down each tree trunk.

Where was it?

Was it there?

Or maybe there?

Yes! Yes! Sure enough, there it was! A red-bellied woodpecker!

Aren’t they gorgeous? That beautiful red head and black and white barred back is such a stunning combination. They actually have a faint blush of red on their bellies (Can you see it?), hence their name. (You’d think they should be called a red-headed woodpecker, but if you look those up, you’ll see why that name was already taken.)

Red-bellieds are one of my favorites and we’re lucky enough to see them regularly. Two summers ago we had a family of them visiting the feeders almost everyday. I was frequently drawn to the window to watch the parents forage at the suet feeder and bring chunks back to the three loudly-impatient babies who waited on an adjacent branch. Then they’d all swoop back off toward the trees. I never could determine which nesting cavity their tree was in, though I knew approximately where it was and I’d searched.

This past fall and winter we lost a lot of old trees during windstorms. Many of them clearly had been used for nesting cavity birds. We’d still seen the red-bellieds throughout the winter, but I’d been a little worried that they might move farther afield during nesting season. So, was this the bird Kurt had been seeing, or was it just visiting? Soon enough I had my answer.

I settled in to watch this one hard at work. Over and over he pushed his head deep into the trunk and pulled out bits and pieces of wood. (You can see some in his beak in the last photo.) He was at it for quite some time!

Since then, I’ve been doing some research and it sounds like the male excavates the nesting cavity and then tries to entice the female. Oh, I do hope he’s successful! The nesting cavity is easily visible from the driveway and I’m already anticipating happy hours watching the family grow and taking photos along the way!

So, if all goes well, we’re expecting…baby woodpeckers!

SOLC Day 16: First, Next, Last (a Photo Journey)

March 2021 SOLC–Day 16
A huge thank you to Two Writing Teachers for all that they do to create an amazing community of writers and a safe, welcoming space to write, learn, share and grow.
www.twowritingteachers.org

First, I survived!
(You can read about my pre-vaccine anxiety here)

Next, I woke up to this! EEK! (And oh, my, the winds! BRRRR!)
Last, I ended the day by discovering this in my school mailbox:

All in all, I’m counting it a win 🙂

SOLC Day 15: In Which Anxiety Flexes its Muscles

March 2021 SOLC–Day 15
A huge thank you to Two Writing Teachers for all that they do to create an amazing community of writers and a safe, welcoming space to write, learn, share and grow.
twowritingteachers.org

I wake with a weight in my belly. This time it wasn’t the cat

Today is the day. 

The day I get the first dose of my Covid 19 vaccine.

The day I’d been simultaneously fighting to schedule and trying to not think about.

Now, I’m the first to admit that I can have issues with anxiety. Well, actually, maybe my family is the first to say it, but I can’t disagree. I’m pretty sure the “Worst Case Scenario” brain is a genetic trait on the paternal side of my family. (Hey, on the plus side, Dad had no side effects from either shot, so maybe that’s genetic, too?) So, while I’ve been trying to submerge my upswells of panicky thoughts, (I’m so tired today. Maybe I have Covid and just no other symptoms. What happens if they give the vaccine to someone who has Covid already!?! Do they test you beforehand? I don’t think they do! OMG, I’m a goner!) it’s been tough.

I’ve tried positive self talk. I keep telling myself that millions of others have already done this. I tend not to have issues with side-effects. I’m young-ish. I’m healthy. I don’t have a history of allergic reactions. (There’s always a first time. How far away is the closest hospital anyway? In my head, I calculate the miles.) 

Still, I’m a nervous wreck. It’s clearly not a rational thing…

And now, it’s almost time to go. I run through the list one more time:

completed form—check
insurance card—check
school ID–check
confirmation e-mail— check
water bottle (in case I feel faint)—check
short sleeve shirt (dark to hide the nervous sweat)—check
Kurt (for hand holding, reassurance, and total emotional support)—check

I take a deep breath.
“Ok,” I say to Kurt. “We should get going.”

I walk outside as he gathers up what he needs. As I step off the deck onto the driveway, something catches my eye. I turn and freeze.

Looking at me from the middle of the field is a single deer. The door slamming shut behind me hadn’t fazed it one bit. It stands there looking at me. Staring at me. Calm. Cool. Collected. Everything I am not, right then and there.

Somehow that calm gets through to me, and I can feel the tendrils of anxiety loosen their hold…just a little. It feels like a sign that everything is going to be okay. Ridiculous? Yes. But undeniably, I feel just a bit more centered. A bit less panicky. Like I said, none of this is rational.

I watch the deer a bit longer until it turns and ambles away into the woods. Then Kurt comes outside, we get in the car, and we drive off to get my shot.

SOLC Day 14: Morning Visitors

March 2021 SOLC–Day 14
A huge thank you to Two Writing Teachers for all that they do to create an amazing community of writers and a safe, welcoming space to write, learn, share and grow.
www.twowritingteachers.org

“Molly, the deer are here!”

“Really?” I turned from my computer.

“There are at least three of them,” Kurt said, peering out the window.

“Oh!” I pushed back my chair and rushed over to look. It’s not unusual for deer to visit us, but they don’t often come in full daylight, and regardless of when they come, we’re always delighted to see them.

“They’re over there–in the clearing to the woods,” he said, pointing.

Peeking out, I scanned the side meadow and the edge of the woods. Where were they?

Finally, a flicker of movement, perhaps a flash of tail, drew my eye, and two deer materialized, as if by magic.

I watched, entranced, as they delicately picked their way through the brush and desiccated weeds. Stopping to graze, then moving on again.

“I’m going to sneak out and see if I can get a picture.”

Not stopping for a coat, I grabbed my camera and moved out to the mudroom. I eased open the door, wincing at its squeak, then pushing it gently shut behind me. I edged around the house, easing my feet down step by step, hoping I could move into position before the deer noticed me. 

CRUNCH!

I looked down in dismay. My foot rested on the broken edge of a large piece of gritty, icy snow.

The deer froze, tilting their heads in my direction. They stared directly at me.

I stopped. Slowly lifted my camera. Clicked a photo. Held my breath. 

Would they stay? 

Would they go?

For long minutes, we stood together, still in the cold spring breeze.

Finally, they dropped their gazes and lowered their heads to graze again. I exhaled and settled in to watch them, every so often carefully raising my camera to take a few more pictures.

Eventually, the deer worked their way off into the trees, and I went back in doors to warm up.

It was a lovely visit.

SOLC Day 13: Consolation Prize

March 2021 SOLC–Day 13
A huge thank you to Two Writing Teachers for all that they do to create an amazing community of writers and a safe, welcoming space to write, learn, share and grow.
www.twowritingteachers.org

I’ve spent most of last weekend and the past week indoors, so I’ve been yearning to be out and about. I’d tentatively planned to drive down to the marsh this morning. I really needed to get out of my own frazzled mind. To lose myself in nature and photography.

Juniper, my cat, dutifully woke me at 4:30 am, so I could make it for sunrise if I was motivated and willing to forego my morning writing. But still I hesitated. It’s a 45 minute drive down to the marsh which meant I’d be gone for about 2 1/2 – 3 hours. It was supposed to be cloudy, not partially cloudy, but full on cloudy. Also, there was a nasty blowing wind icon on the forecast, and when I checked, it said the wind chill was 20˚F. That wouldn’t be awful except that yesterday’s temperatures in the high 50s apparently drained my tolerance for even the thought of cold.

Not going anywhere sounded enticing. Relaxing.

But getting out sounded healthy. Rejuvenating.

I dithered.

Tick.
Tock.

Dithered some more.

Tick.
Tock.

As I turned over the pros and cons yet again, I glanced at my watch. Oops. I’d missed the window to make sunrise at the marsh. Well, that was one way to make a decision. Suddenly feeling more focused now that my options were limited, I decided to drive down into “town” to visit the river as a consolation prize.

And what a lovely prize it was!

SOLC Day 12: My Brain is Tired

March 2021 SOLC–Day 12
A huge thank you to Two Writing Teachers for all that they do to create an amazing community of writers and a safe, welcoming space to write, learn, share and grow.
www.twowritingteachers.org

Today’s post is for both Poetry Friday and the March Slice of Life Challenge.

Last month a group of poets gathered to write a poem a day in response to prompts about “Bodies.” (If you’d like to check them out, Laura Shovan, the creative organizing force behind this group, has posted the prompts at her blog.) One day the prompt was about “astral bodies.” I looked at the linked material and simply thought, “Wow, my brain is either too tired or too old to contemplate this too deeply! … Or maybe both.”

Today, I kind of felt the same way when I thought about writing a post. It’s late in the day, we had PD all day and I was pretty whooped. I had all sorts of ideas I could write about–an amazing class Zoom visit with Irene Latham, the eagles we watched on an afternoon walk today, a recent class discussion, my vaccine anxiety, the first signs of spring, etc. –but I just didn’t have the energy or motivation.

Here’s last month’s poem from the project. It still seems apt, as I guess my brain’s still tired this month, and now it’s even a bit older.

My Brain’s Too Old for the Astral Plane

My aging brain’s
not up to speed
for making sense
of philosophy
or talk about
an astral plane
between the body
and the brain…
or is it twixt
the body and soul?
I can’t quite grasp
the nebulous whole.
Astral whosit?
Spectral what!?
Oh, sh*t, Plato, too?
A cosmic glut!
The words they orbit
but make no sense.
I can’t comprehend—
this matter’s too dense!
I contemplate it
over and over
’til my brain implodes
like a supernova.

©Molly Hogan

The Poetry Friday Roundup this week is hosted by the Mistress of Wordplay, Heidi Mordhorst, at her blog, My Juicy Little Universe. Be sure to stop by and wish her a Happy Birthday and check out some linked poems while you’re at it!

SOLC Day 11: ISO (In search of…)

March 2021 SOLC–Day 11
A huge thank you to Two Writing Teachers for all that they do to create an amazing community of writers and a safe, welcoming space to write, learn, share and grow.

www.twowritingteachers.org

“I’m thinking of taking out a personal ad!” I announced in a rush as I blew in the door after work yesterday. “Have you ever written one? How do they go anyway?”

My husband, pretty secure after 30+ years of wedded bliss, just looked at me quizzically. I explained, laughing, that after continued frustration on-line, frantically trying to capture an elusive vaccine appointment (see yesterday’s blog), I’ve decided to change my approach. With this context, he was 100% on board and even helped with some abbreviations. (Thanks, Kurt!) Here’s the rough draft (regretfully revised to take out those abbreviations that cracked us up but might be a bit too provocative):

ISO Good Times With A BBV*!

I’m a 50-something MWF**. A bit frazzled these days, but at my best, I’m a fair amount of fun. I enjoy large gatherings, public transportation, and touching my face. Tired of the on-line scene and compulsive hand washing, I’m seeking a long-term relationship with a BBV*. Preferably not too hot. I’m not the type to discriminate. I will consider all offers, and I’m willing to travel to meet up. I’m hoping for hugs and hand-holding, mask-less walks on the beach, and maybe even some romantic, candlelight indoor dining! No need for casual conversation. I’m looking to add some adventure to my life! Let’s make a date! Soon!

So what do you think? 

*BBV=big beautiful vaccine
**MWF= married white female

SOLC Day 10: There has to be a better way…

March 2021 SOLC–Day 10
A huge thank you to Two Writing Teachers for all that they do to create an amazing community of writers and a safe, welcoming space to write, learn, share and grow.
http://www.twowritingteachers.org

Everyone’s talking about it and it’s hard to know exactly what’s true and what to do.

“I hear you can get on a wait list if you call directly.”

“They said on the news there won’t be as many doses available this week.”

“You have to log in at midnight to find new appointments.”

“I hear the school is going to send an e-mail with a link.”

This past weekend, the message from a friend came in early.

“Just scheduled both doses!”

“What!? Where? How’d you do it?”

“Walgreens. It refreshes at 7am. You have to make an account beforehand and get ready to go right at 7. Have a list of zip codes and be prepared to leave your area.” This was followed up by another quick message, “Oh…and enter lots of zip code options. You’ve got to be willing to travel.”

“OK. Thanks! I’ll try tomorrow.”

Next morning…7 am…it begins.

I log into the Walgreen’s site.

04008

“No appointments available within 25 miles of Bowdoinham, Maine for next three days.”

04011

“No appointments available within 25 miles of Brunswick, Maine for next three days.”

04101

“No appointments available within 25 miles of Portland, Maine for next three days.”

After attempting 5 or 6 more zip codes, I switch over to our local grocery store chain, Hannaford.

04008

“No appointments available within 50 miles of Bowdoinham, Maine.”

04011

“No appointments available within 50 miles of Brunswick, Maine.”

I keep at it, entering zip code after zip code with no success.

Then this happens:

What!? Are you kidding me?

This process is really taxing my recent effort to “keep it positive”.

Sigh.

There has to be a better way.

SOLC Day 9: Three Snippets From My Classroom

March 2021 SOLC–Day 9
A huge thank you to Two Writing Teachers for all that they do to create an amazing community of writers and a safe, welcoming space to write, learn, share and grow.
http://www.twowritingteachers.org

Here are three recent snippets from my classroom for your entertainment.

  1. “Mrs. Hogan, you know what I just realized?” A. said.
    “What?”
    “I dress like a gender reveal!”
    “What!?” I asked, thoroughly confused. “What do you mean?”
    “Well,” she explained, beaming, “today I’m all in blue and yesterday I was all in pink. It’s like I’m a gender reveal!”

2. We’d just finished reading a Charles Waters poem that ended with the lines:
“Then Mom says the dreaded words
no kid should ever have to hear…
“”Wait till your father gets home.”

The kids in my class groaned in commiseration.

“Yeah, that’s the worst!”

“Oh, yeah! My mom always says that!”

Then R. piped up, “Yeah!” He paused. “Well, actually, no. My dad’s more like a butterfly. Not a scorpion.”

Another pause. Then…
“That’s my mom.” 

Ouch! Now that’s a stinger!

3. And finally, randomly in the middle of snack recently, M. called out, “And for today’s fun fact…teachers used to hit their students with rulers!” 

This was apropos to nothing at all–I swear!

There’s never a dull moment in fourth grade!

SOLC Day 8: On the Origin of Images

March 2021 SOLC–Day 8
A huge thank you to Two Writing Teachers for all that they do to create an amazing community of writers and a safe, welcoming space to write, learn, share and grow.
http://www.twowritingteachers.org

Much to my delight, we were able to visit the Farnsworth Museum in Rockland, Maine late last month. After entering at the time designated on our pre-purchased tickets, we were instructed how to follow the safety protocols of the museum. The main instruction was to sanitize and then follow the careful trail of directional arrows through the galleries. No backtracking. They instructed us to keep six feet between us and anyone else, but since we only saw 4 other people during our visit, that wasn’t a challenge. We happily entered and immediately immersed ourselves in the art.

About midway through our “guided tour” we came upon this painting.

Hammer Head - Farnsworth Art Museum

It’s not really my style, but it was a striking painting and the vivid swirl of colors drew my eyes immediately. What is it? I wondered. I leaned closer to check out the informational panel. The piece was titled “Hammerhead” and was painted by David Salle.

Is that a hammerhead shark? Or is it the head of a hammer? Could it be a person?

I tilted my head one way and then the other. I still wasn’t sure. I read on seeking clarity. What soon became clear was that I was not the only one questioning what objects were at the center of Salle’s painting. The panel quoted him responding, “…to focus on where the images come from distorts their life together in a painting.”

Hmmmm…This got me thinking about writing and the various bits and pieces that can come together in a poem or a story. Sometimes I wonder where these ideas come from–when I’m reading someone else’s work or when I’m writing my own pieces. But does it really matter? Is it important where these “images” come from?

Earlier in the museum, I’d lingered in the gallery of Andrew Wyeth paintings. I loved reading about his life, his relationships, his love of Maine. This influenced how I viewed his work. For example, knowing that the man Wyeth painted in “Adrift” was his childhood companion enriched my experience of that piece.

a close up of Adrift by Andrew Wyeth

And in my own work, origin does matter to me. I find that I learn a lot about myself when I write. Part of that learning comes from sifting through and choosing which bits and pieces to try to capture on the page. Often the learning comes from the objects and images that bubble up without my conscious intent. But is that important for my reader to know? Or Salle’s viewer?

Does understanding or knowing the origin of images add to the emotional resonance or impact of a piece of art? Or is it really about how images exist and interact on the canvas or on the page that is the most critical? I know which way I’m leaning, but I’m still pondering.

What do you think?